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Women of a Certain Age-The Next Generation

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Women of a Certain Age-The Next Generation…

You may be a woman of a certain age if you used hair curlers

Women of a Certain Age –

The Next Generation…

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

  1. If you ever had a man in a boat in your toilet tank…you might be a woman of a certain age.
  2. If you ever drank a Tab…
  3. If you ever wore hose from an egg…
  4. If you ever wore a $5 dollar tube top from Woolworths…
  5. If you know what was on the lunch menu at Woolworth’s Restaurant…
  6. If you ever ate lunch at Woolworth’s Restaurant…
  7. If you ever ate at a lunch counter…
  8. If you know what a lunch counter is…
  9. If you ate a chocolate Popsicle (nope, not a Fudgesicle) …
  10. If you know what stairs up, stairs down means…
  11. If your first tablet was an Etch A Sketch…
  12. If your tablet is made of paper…
  13. If you ever wore a floral maxi…
  14. If you ever owned a poodle skirt…
  15. If you ever had a tiger in your tank…
  16. If you know who had a dog named Tiger…
  17. If you can recall the Brady Bunch wedding…
  18. If you owned a Schick Love Light…
  19. If you know what a Love Light is…
  20. If you owned a turntable, eight-track, or cassette player…
  21. If you know what a turntable, eight-track, or cassette are…
  22. If creamy ever creamed, you…
  23. If you ever used an Avon Funburger…
  24. If you know what an Avon Funburger is…
  25. If you ever mixed blue eye shadow with water…
  26. If you wore blue eye shadow…
  27. If you used peach peppermint Lip Smacker…
  28. If you owned a Cinnabar Frost lip color pencil…
  29. If you owned anything Estee Lauder in an aqua turquoise case…
  30. If you used tinted Clearasil…
  31. If you wore Clinique Pore Minimizer makeup…
  32. If you carried a disposable lighter for your eye liner pencil in your purse…
  33. If you think “Zoom” is a TV show from the 70’s, not an online meeting portal…
  34. If you ever had a cream pack…
  35. If you know what a cream pack is…
  36. If you can finish this line and name that tune: “Hey, Hey…”
  37. If curlers in your hair caused you shame…
  38. If you still own curlers…
  39. If you ever drank from a garden hose and lived to tell about it…
  40. If you only think of pickle as a food, not a sport…
  41. If “who wears short shorts” is not you anymore…
  42. If you have ever been a Lustre-Crème Shampoo girl…
  43. If you think turkey neck is a soup ingredient…
  44. If you still, make turkey soup…
  45. If you move slower than a sloth…
  46. If you think Alexa and Siri are among your bridge game partners…
  47. If you still play bridge…
  48. If much of your wardrobe came from the mall and department stores, not Amazon…
  49. If you think Robert Redford is sexy…
  50. If you own white gloves that aren’t for winter…
  51. If you call your purse a pocketbook…
  52. If you can name all four of the Golden Girls…
  53. If you can remember when Hallmark was only cards…
  54. If you remember when Olay was Oil of Olay…
  55. If you ever used a rotary dial or push-button landline…
  56. If you know what a landline is…
  57. If you watched Luke and Laura’s wedding…
  58. If you remember “The Guiding Light” and Bauer burgers…
  59. If a section of your closet is dedicated to shoes you can only sit in…
  60. If you know “Shake and Bake” is not a new variation of Hot Yoga…
  61. If you husband owns a leisure suit…
  62. If you owned an original Barbie doll…
  63. If your Barbie dream house had cardboard furniture…
  64. If you can remember when Barbie was just a fashion doll, you might be a woman of a certain age.
  65. If you always realized he’s “just Ken”, you might be a woman of any age…
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Don’t Do It-Suicide Is Permanent

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Don’t Do It-Suicide Is Permanent 

Depression is treatable, suicide is not. Please stay.

Don’t Do It-Suicide Is Permanent

Editor: This is an updated version of an article first posted on this site on 12/06/2021. Depression is on the increase in the United States and right along with it suicide. If you are in distress, reach out, ask for help, call a friend,  or dial #988, the National Suicide Hot Line.

D. S. Mitchell

Just The Facts

If you are between 15-35, suicide is the second leading cause of death for your age group.  For all age groups, suicide is responsible for more deaths than murder and natural disasters, combined.  Men take their own lives four times as often as women. Many men sadly would rather be dead than seem ‘weak.’ In 2020, 17 veterans committed suicide every day.

Those Left Behind

As you can see by the statistics, suicide is not a rare, or in any way an isolated event. It is very real and definitely permanent, and it leaves those who are left behind, in utter despair. For them the suicide event is plagued by stigma, guilt and self-recrimination. The most common question from those left behind is, “what could I have done differently?”

Continue reading

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50 Ways To Invest In Our Planet

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50 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day, Everyday

The theme of Earth Day 2024 is "Planet vs Plastic"

Editor: Today is Earth Day. The event is held each year on April 22nd. The event is held to demonstrate support for environmental protection. The first Earth Day was  held on April 22, 1970, it now includes a wide range of events; including 1 billion people in more than 193 countries. The official theme for 2024 is “Planet vs. Plastics.” With this theme the organization aims to reduce plastic dependency and make earth plastic free.

50 Ways To Invest In Our Planet

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Be a Friend to Our Home

There are several ways to make an investment in our planet, many of which have no financial cost or very little expenditure. In fact, being earth friendly can often save you money:

  1. Plant a tree.
  2. Organize a trash pick up on the side of the road, a vacant lot, or anywhere needing rid of refuse – check with local agencies for programs already in place.
  3. Don’t litter – ever.
  4. Organize a recycling event in your community.
  5. Make sure to recycle your electronic devices. Not only does it take away from landfilled items, but it returns important metals like gold, platinum, and copper back to the manufacturing stream, cutting environmentally damaging mining and refining processes.
  6. Watch Al Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” and it’s sequel.
  7. Some years back our church did a children’s musical and reception to educate the congregation about Earth Day – try something of this nature at your place of worship.
  8. Read at least some of the many publications available about pollution (be it air, ground, water, light, or noise) and global warming/climate change.
  9. Educate yourself with virtual or in person Earth Day events.
  10. Reduce your use of paper – opt for on-device rather than on the physical page; recycle what you do use.
  11. Join a free swap-type group, like Freecycle, Trash No More, etc., to extend item usefulness and stop them from going into landfills.
  12. Opt for environmentally friendly cleaning products.
  13. Use your local library to learn more about Mother Earth.
  14. Use your library for books and magazines in general, too – they are reused much more, and many offer free online access to numerous magazines.
  15. Many institutions offer a “library of things” – items like electronic devices or tools which can literally be borrowed, saving you cost and promoting reuse.
  16. Chose farm-to-table food items and buy from local farmers to cut down on fuel use and emissions from shipping.
  17. Shop sustainably: invest in sustainable, reusable items or ones that will last longer – ideally both.
  18. Don’t waste resources: for example, turn the water off when brushing your teeth or shaving unless you are actually rinsing.
  19. Turn out the light(s) in an unoccupied room, even if you’re going to be gone a little while, and opt for LED bulbs for much more efficiency (less power used, more money saved).
  20. Keep your car running efficiently to avoid harmful emissions and save on gas.
  21. Consider an electric vehicle or a plug-in hybrid.
  22. Support the use of sustainable energy, such as solar, wind power, geothermal, and the like.
  23. Always take your own bags to the grocery store.
  24. Use environmentally friendly household products such as paper towel or bathroom tissue – look for green items where you shop whenever possible.
  25. Chose Earth friendly items when remodeling your home, like sustainable materials such as bamboo, or other responsibly-sourced lumber.
  26. When choosing cosmetic items such as sun screen, chose environmentally friendly companies and ingredients, as well as cruelty free items.
  27. Biodegradable balloons are available for your next party/event, or choose another sustainable, environmentally friendly form of celebration items.
  28. Avoid lawn products that are toxic, not just for the planet but for pets and wildlife.
  29. Wear eco friendly clothing and use eco friendly linens.
  30. Shop at thrift or consignment stores – they have many items for any budget; it’s a great way to reuse and save money.
  31. Take military showers – use a shower head with a shutoff and cut the water between initial wetting and rinsing.
  32. A bath can be more green than showering if you take very long showers, but showers in general are best.
  33. Use eco friendly bath products.
  34. Put a brick or other water saver in your toilet tank, and invest in a low flow shower head.
  35. Consider bar soap or shampoos, and recycle any plastic soap, shampoo, or conditioner containers. Use zero waste or near zero waste grooming products that are sustainable.
  36. Take a nature walk with your children or pet – remember to leave nothing but footprints, and take nothing but pictures and memories.
  37. Take a quiz to ascertain your carbon footprint and take steps to reduce it.
  38. Save energy in your home, like turning down or up (depending on the season) your thermostat.
  39. Walk, bike, or car pool, whenever possible.
  40. Go ahead and hug that tree – you know you want to.
  41. Avoid excessive use of aerosols or other potentially environment damaging products.
  42. Remember Woodsy the Owl? Give a hoot – don’t pollute.
  43. Plant flowers and other local variant plants, avoiding non-native species which can drain environmental resources or harm animals.
  44. Start a community vegetable garden.
  45. Plant an herb garden.
  46. Put fresh mushrooms on your grocery list of sustainable foods.
  47. Add avocados and bananas to your sustainable fruit and veggies basket.
  48. Create a pretty terrarium.
  49. Post Earth friendly tips on social media.
  50. Make each day an Earth Day.

There isn’t a plan(et) B, so start making more informed, environmentally better choices today…

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10 Ideas to Help Stay Positive

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10 Ideas to Help Stay Positive

Long term friendships help us get through the difficult times.

10 Ideas to Help Stay Positive

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Dark Times

I don’t know about you, but the last couple years have been tough for me emotionally and spiritually. The political discord, the social division, the gun violence, the melting glaciers, the slaughter of 12,000 innocent children in Gaza, the Trump presidency, the anti-Semitism, the growing religious intolerance, and the loneliness and hopelessness of the COVID-19 pandemic have taken their toll. I know I am not alone in my distress, so because of that I decided to pass on a few things I learned while working in both Crisis and General Psychiatry at a large teaching hospital.

Cultivating Hope and Joy

  1. Feeling awful? Now might be a good time to start practicing Gratitude. Gratitude is quite simply an acknowledgement that we are thankful for everything and we are content with it. Contentment leads to happiness the researchers tell us. I suggest you find one small thing that’s good about every day, no matter how bad the day may seem.
  2. Create Daily Routines that you look forward to. The brisk early morning walk with a friend where you can breathe fresh air and build a relationship. A late afternoon cup of tea in your favorite mug in a favorite spot. I love my back deck  which looks over a beautiful lake in Southern Oregon. The multisensory experience is joyful, you smell it, you taste it, you see it. Savor the anticipation of those pleasurable times that you create each day. I elevate it to a ritual.
  3. “Take a walk,” is great advice for both your physical and mental health. Even small amounts of exercise can elevate your mood. Make sure you engage in some form of physical activity a couple times a day. Set your phone ringtone to announce exercise time. How about scheduling a ‘play day’ once a week where you become a kid again. Blow bubbles, bring out the hula hoop, skip rope, ride your bike.
  4. Music creates my mood and I know I’m not alone. Set up a playlist loaded with upbeat tunes you love and turn it on when your spirits falter.
  5. Make small connections with as many people in a day as you can. A few words with the barista, a comment about the Trailblazers to your neighbor, will brighten your mood and give you a sense of connection to the community.  Those brief interactions are much more therapeutic than previously thought, and play an important role in our sense of wellbeing. Another way to bring yourself out of a slump is to call a loved one.
  6. Help someone. Helping others, or getting involved in a cause that is important to you can improve your sense of wellbeing. Look for a way to give back; plant a tree in the park, donate blood, contribute to an online fund raiser for your favorite candidate. Volunteerism is a joyful thing.
  7. Identify 25 things that make you happy. Put the list on your phone so if you hit a bad spot you can look at it and be reminded of the things that make you smile.
  8. Allow yourself to be positive about the future.
  9. Determine a goal that you want to accomplish. Not something you have to do, but rather something you want to do. And then do something each day to get you closer to your goal. That’s how I wrote my first novel. One day at a time.
  10. Pet a dog; yours or someone else’s. Pets open the door to social opportunities. I cannot think of one time that I’ve taken my dog for a walk that someone hasn’t asked to pet her, or just stopped and made small talk. Plus, there is something comforting about cuddling with a dog.

I hope that some of the ideas I shared will help you get through some tough days with a little more hope and a lot more joy.

 

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It’s a Taxing Situation

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It’s a Taxing Situation

Once you get that tax return here are some ways to spend it wisely

It’s a Taxing Situation

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

Death from Taxes?

I must admit that when it comes to taxes, I am inept. I squeaked through my college accounting 101 by the skin of my teeth. My husband is the math lover in our household, and he does our 1040. The closest I come to anything to do with mathematics is the fact my older sister is an accountant and a friend from belly dance class is a tax attorney.

Count on Bargains

Basic math, like checkbook balancing, figuring out sale discounts, or the size of a diamond – I am truly fabulous at this type of calculation endeavor. My spouse will attest that I am excellent at spending money, as well, but I do spend it wisely. I can sniff out an overcharge at the grocery store like a bloodhound that got a whiff of a juicy bone, and I love me a bargain. So allow me to share a baker’s dozen of my expertise on savvy ways to save some money when you are ready to spend your tax refund:

  1. Many restaurants and business establishments offer tax day or other deals and free birthday or anniversary treats, through email, texting, or in-store terminals. These are great but can still cost you money – that free dessert can end up costing you the price of a lunch or dinner that maybe wasn’t in your budget. Bear in mind these places are enticing you to come spend some cash.
  2. The “pink tax” is very real – those blue disposable razors may work just as well on legs and underarms.
  3. Do your homework before taking your car to the mechanic, ladies. You are less likely to be taken advantage of if you sound like Marissa Tomei’s character on the witness stand in “My Cousin Vinny”.
  4. Now, you know you are about to look for that film on streaming TV if you don’t know what I am talking about, so let’s move on to those get two weeks free streaming services. It’s nice to try these services, or merchandise subscriptions, but if you forget to cancel you can get an expensive surprise at the end of the free period.
  5. Online auctions are awesome but check shipping fees before bidding. That very deep discount on the item you are looking at might make up for the cheap price by inflating shipping and handling charges. (This can also be true on third-party serviced items through the big online retailers.) Politely ask the seller what is the best price shipping to your ZIP code.
  6. You get less for your money these days – even President Biden’s State of the Union speech mentioned the size of a Snickers bar and the volume inside a bag of potato chips shrinking in size, so watch unit pricing such as per ounce for the best value.
  7. You often get what you pay for, so look for quality that is timeless and long lasting when choosing wardrobes and accessories. In trendy apparel look, especially fads, look for less costly items, since they go out of fashion quickly.
  8. Loss leaders at the market or pharmacy are worth it, if you don’t go out of your way to make the purchase. Often these are limited to one per customer and not worth the extra gas spent to get to the store, unless you can take advantage of multiple deals and they are for items you need or at least really want.
  9. Drugstore cosmetics can often work as well as luxury brands, but if you want to try higher end skin care, begin by requesting samples or buying a trial size to get a read of how your body reacts to it. Avoid dollar store personal care items – most are made in China/PRC (People’s Republic of China), which means they are not thoroughly tested for hygienic safety standards or safe ingredients.
  10. Store brands can be a budget saver but check labels – some less costly groceries can contain preservatives, colors, or other artificial ingredients. Many use the GMO process of bioengineering.
  11. Don’t cut corners when it comes to your health and safety. It’s just not worth it in the long run.
  12. There is a trend toward lab-created gem stones. My personal opinion is a smaller, natural diamond with some inclusions is a better choice. Lab created means coal burning in China and India, an often unhealthy and unsafe practice.
  13. Be a wise consumer – use reliable resources to gain information before making a purchase.

Take the Credit

In closing, an accountant (shameless plug for my beautiful big sister), or tax attorney can help you to take all of your legal tax deductions, and get you the maximum refund. There are many tax credits for women, especially single moms, if your income is under a certain amount. There is the earned income tax credit, there is child or dependent care credit if you have a loved one in daycare, and if you have a child in college there is an education credit. If a single lady is taking a job related class, there is also a credit.

Taxing…Not!

Tax laws are complex for everyone, not just single ladies filing as head of a household, with or without children, so leaving your taxes to the experts can get you maximum legal refunds, giving you some extra cash that you can splurge just a bit on some of those spring sales.

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No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?

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No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?

 

Worry is my middle name and I have good reason to be worried

No Worries. Are You Kidding Me?

By D. S. Mitchell

 

Closet Worrier

I never considered myself a worrier; however I have  probably always been a closet worrier. I was the one that would call twice to confirm a reservation and of course I made sure that we always took two of everything (just in case). Now that I’m an elder, and retired, I have found an abundant amount of time to worry and an endless supply of issues to worry about. I have thrown off my shackles and emerged into the light as an admitted worrier.

Growing Louder

What used to be occasional whispers in my busy working mind have grown louder now that I am free of the time clock. I worry about the mutating COVID virus, and do I need another booster? I worry that I forgot to rotate my tires at 5,000 miles. When did I last check the air pressure, I fret. Did I remember to send my forever best friend from high school a card on her birthday? Then there’s climate change, and the rising ocean levels, Russian aggression in the Ukraine, the rape and murder of Israelis on 10/7,  the death of 33,000 Palestinian civilians in Gaza. And we can’t forget the threat of nukes in space, the Chinese on Mars, the speeding up of the Jet Streams, an alien invasion, an AI takeover, nuclear war, and the possibility of an asteroid impact. And what about all those conspiracy theories; are they all wrong; or just partly wrong? Will we ever find Jimmy Hoffa’s bones?

Did You Hear?

Did you see that there was a massive die off of honeybees in the United States in 2023, killing over 51% of the honeybee hives. Furthermore, in case you missed it on the news, the biggest iceberg in history is now floating somewhere in the open ocean south of Australia. I have at my disposal an endless spool of worry; replaying events over-and-over in my head; each exchanging their places in turn, as I worry about each new threat.

I Love Joe

I have recently begun transferring all of these concerns to an off planet storage facility-I think its called the cloud. I want to have plenty of space in my head for election year worries. Don’t misunderstand; there isn’t a single day that goes by that Joe Biden doesn’t prove he’s a better man than Donald Trump ever thought of being. Not one day of Donald Trump’s life, has he ever thought of anyone but himself. As General John Kelly confirmed, Trump “is the most flawed person (I’ve) ever met.” Unfortunately, for the United States, Trump is once again being allowed to run for president; and with the Electoral College system he could easily win.

Not Long Ago

There was a time in the recent past when a candidate for the highest office in our land was not a criminal, a grifter, or wanna-be tyrant; that was of course before Donald Trump came on the scene. Since Trump’s  emergence as a right wing demagogue he has been setting law breaking records; amazing even those who know him best. I realize there are many in the electorate who may have forgotten the list of outrages this one man crime wave has committed. For those amnesic individuals I offer Seth Meyers.

Early to Bed, Ready to Worry

I go to bed early, so, sadly, I miss all the late night comedy shows. But, this is 21st century America and I have YouTube. A recent Seth Meyer’s monologue turned up the heat on my worr-ia-tor. Listen folks, a quick review of the recent past is reason enough to worry about what criminal tactics Trump will use to guarantee his winning the 2024 election. That’s right, folks, I truly believe Trump and his crime associates will try to once again overthrow an election. That would be two in a row. The loss of public morality is shocking and should be a worry for all of us who haven’t been drinking the Kool-Aid or who aren’t looking for a Mango Mussolini to worship.

Seth Meyers Made a List

After coming out on top as the presumptive Republican nominee for president Trump was eviscerated by Late Night host, Seth Meyers. In a near two minute opening monologue, Meyers reeled off a list of outrageous things Donald Trump has done, or has been accused of doing.  Here in Seth’s own words: “Presumptive GOP nominee for president, again, for a third time, despite the fact he is a twice-impeached, four-time criminally indicted and racist who’s been found liable for fraud and sexual abuse. Banned from doing business in the state of New York for three years. Owes over half a billion dollars in fines and judgments. Took millions from foreign governments while he was president. Tried to extort a foreign country to interfere in the 2016 election and encouraged another to help him win in 2020.”

No Stopping Him

Meyers, however, did not stop there. Trump “actively undermined our nation’s response to a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic and let a deadly disease spiral out of control. (He) is about to go on trial for breaking campaign finance laws by paying hush money to cover up an affair during the 2016 campaign. He orchestrated a months-long coup attempt that culminated in a violent insurrection to disrupt the peaceful transfer of power and install him as an unelected dictator. (Trump) stole classified documents and obstructed attempts to get them back. (The man) has never won the popular vote and has been routinely rejected by a majority of Americans in election after election.”

There’s More?

At this point you may think Meyers had covered it all, but that’s when he reminds us of many other bizarre Trump moments. Meyers called Trump “the single weirdest, most off-putting human being on the face of the f****** planet. Trump spews deranged conspiracy theories about everything from climate change to immigration, from vaccines to windmills. Stumbles on three syllable words, two-syllable words and one-syllable words, cheats at golf, calls our dead soldiers suckers and losers, forgets who he’s running against.” At this point, Seth brings up a screen in the studio displaying  examples of Trump’s spelling errors.  “(He) can’t spell his own name, his wife’s name (or even remember it), the words “indicted,” “education,” “unprecedented,” stolen,” “Denmark,” “Kentucky” or “tap,” all spelled wrong, and many more.

Gamer Vocabulary

Myer’s summed up Trump in the following manner, “I’m sorry, but this guy is not a real person, he’s a glitching, (stumbling) NPC from a video game,” Meyers declared. **For the non-gamers out there; Seth’s reference to “NPC” (“Non-Player Character”) is used by him as a metaphor to describe someone he perceives as lacking independent thought.

 

Its Disgusting and Shocking

I worry that any group of people that would support a criminal and insurrectionist as their presidential candidate are likely to break any and all laws to get him back into the White House. Perhaps even “terminate the Constitution.” Bad actors, like Iran, Russia, China, and North Korea are lining up to run misinformation campaigns against Biden and the Dems. Sounds like criminals and thugs sticking together. The fact that the Republican Party is willing to hand over power to a man of  such obvious low character as Donald Trump is both outrageous, and demoralizing. Make no mistake the GOP will be running a ‘dictator for life’ candidate not a presidential candidate.

****

If you want to see the original Seth Meyers rant go to YouTube and put in Trump crimes-Seth Meyers on the search bar and you can watch Seth eviscerate Trump in a two minute rant. Everything he says is alarming and we should all be worried as hell.

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OPINION: Trump Is No Jesus

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OPINION: Trump Is No Jesus

Trump is a destroyer not a builder and he certainly is no Jesus.

OPINION: Trump Is No Jesus

 

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Hard to Imagine

When I was a kid I never imagined we would one day have a president of the United States that would shamelessly rent rooms for profit to Saudi princes and Chinese spies, at a hotel he owned, just down the street from the White House. While Trump was overcharging international dictators and oligarchs for hotel accommodations, his daughter Ivanka was in China securing profitable trademarks for her many high ticket items. And, that’s just the small stuff. The X-president’s son-in-law seems to have pulled off the biggest grift of the Trump era. When Jerad Kushner, who served in the Trump administration as a senior adviser, walked away from public service he had a 2 billion dollar check in his  pocket from the Saudi’s to fuel his private equity firm. Of course that 2 billion does not include the 100’s of millions of dollars handed over to Kushner by the rich and powerful leaders of Qatar and the United Arab Emirates for that same equity firm.

Now and Then

Since Trump has been out of office he has continued the grift. The fact that the former president of the United States is willing to hold up a bible in one hand, he’s selling for $59.99, and a  pair of gold lame high top sneakers he’s selling for $399.99 in the other hand, is an embarrassment to the office he once held and is once again seeking.

Sold Out

If you somehow missed out on the limited number of the gold high tops he was hawking, you still have a chance at the regular red and white sneakers for $199.  Trump ‘Victory’ perfume and the cologne version come boxed for the small pittance of $99. The made in China, dime store quality rubbish just doesn’t stop. He’s got the Trumpy bear for $40 bucks and believe it or not, you can pick up a Trump Chia head for $19.99. And holy cow, the MAGA hats are selling for $50 at Trump’s on line store; and they’re not even autographed. I know for a fact, you can pick up one of those red baseball caps for $12.99 on Amazon. And, wait for it-they even have gold colored ear buds. Because next to green the Donald is all about the gold.

Beware the False Prophet

For those who think Trump is doing God’s work, even as he spews hate and lies, attacks immigrants, and women, I say, get thee to a closet and study the word. AI created images of Trump with Jesus hovering over him, or sitting next to him, have been showing up on the internet for months. Now, these heretics are merging Christ’s image with that of Trump, depicting them as a single entity. Such images were once a rarity, now they are becoming commonplace.

I‘m Angry

I can tolerate the grift, when we are just talking about Chia heads and gold sneakers, but damn it-this whole recent nonsense of Trump pretending to be a Christian to suck up to the evangelicals is D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G.  The very thought of that Godless, lying, rapist, bigot, wrapping himself in the glory of Jesus, is unforgivable. He is a heretic, a blasphemer, and a false Messiah. Where are the pastors, the priests, and the people who know the words of the bible? Wherever you are, I am calling on you to take a stand against this abomination. It is time to speak up and speak out against this outrage.

 

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And What About Bigfoot?

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And What About Bigfoot?

Are the sightings real or manufactured?

Bigfoot is a legend in the Pacific Northwest. A similar creature has been seen around the world and goes by a variety of names.

 

Is Bigfoot Real or Manufactured?

By D.S. Mitchell

A NW Childhood

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest so I’ve been hearing about Bigfoot since I was a kid along with the legend of the notorious skyjacker, D.B. Cooper. More than most other stories these two have ignited the imaginations of people, not just in my area, but all over the world. As far as D.B. Cooper goes, I think it was the boldness of the crime and the fact that he got away with a bunch of cash and was never caught. An amazing 20th century story of a man who seemingly beat the system.

Mysterious Creatures

Bigfoot, a legendary half man half ape creature is, I believe, more about humanities need to believe in magic and the mysteries of the unknown. I think it’s the same reason conspiracy theories are so popular.  Much like Scotland’s Loch Ness Monster, there is not a single iota of evidence showing that Bigfoot or Nessie are real. No bodies, no bones, no hair, no skin, no DNA; nothing, absolutely nothing, except a few giant footprints and a couple cheezy photos and a grainy video.

Basic Biology

From basic biology it seems that if a population were large enough to propagate it is unlikely, considering their enormous size, that any of these creatures could go undiscovered by scientists, certainly not any band or group of them. I would say the whole thing is impossible. However, many people are fascinated by the possibility of a mythic creature, living wild and free in many isolated parts of the world. Jane Goodall famed anthropologist and conservationist, once said of Bigfoot, “I want to believe.”

Footprints in the Mud

On August 27, 1958 a logging company employee, Jerry Crew, reported having found gigantic foot prints in the mud close to Bluff Creek in northern California while he was clearing brush and stumps near the creek. Several of Jerry’s co-workers also reported seeing mammoth footprints in the area. The news of “Bigfoot” was published in the Sunday edition of the Humboldt Times and the phenomenon known as Bigfoot was born.

Flash Forward

In 2002 one of Crew’s co-workers, a fellow named Ray Wallace, died at the age of 84. It was then that his children revealed he had carved a pair of giant wooden feet and had stomped around the Bluff Creek area leaving the mysterious tracks way back in 1958. “It was just a joke,” they told the press. When news of the hoax hit the airwaves Bigfoot believers barely batted an eye. Despite pranks, hoaxes, and other shenanigans the enthusiasts will not be dissuaded. In fact, there is more interest today than ever before.

One Big Guy  

The most famous suspected hoax came nearly ten years after Wallace’s 1958 prank. Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin produced a 59 second film showing a huge ape like creature walking around the Bluff Creek site identified in 1958. The 1967 film was later identified as a hoax when costume manufacturer, Philip Morris, claimed he had sold Patterson the gorilla suit and even introduced the overly large man who had tromped around in the costume for the camera, to the press.

Hoaxes and Tall Tales

A  prospector named Albert Ostman came forward in the midst of the excitement and told a hair raising story of being abducted from his campsite and forced to live with a Bigfoot family for six days until he escaped. Then in 2008, two Georgia men announced they had found the corpse of a Bigfoot in the Georgia mountains, but after a media frenzy it was discovered the men had bought a Bigfoot costume and filled it with road kill and animal entrails. It seems that the Bigfoot legend is fertile soil for pranksters and scammers.

Conclusion

There is even a Bigfoot Field Research Organization (BFRO) that keeps records of Bigfoot sightings around the United States. There are more than 5,000 “credible” Bigfoot sightings from every state except Hawaii. More than a third of those sightings coming from the Pacific Northwest. Serious researchers plotted Bigfoot sightings and found they correlated roughly to the American black bear’s habitat. Black bears can look frightfully tall and humanlike, it was noted, when standing upright on their back legs. Interesting theory, but most people ignore the science because they want to believe, just like Jane Goodall, that Bigfoot is real.

A Trunk of Trump Junk

  By , , , , ,

A Trunk of Trump Junk…

Donald Trump seems to have an endless number of items he likes to attach his name to. Here are a few parody samples

A Trunk of Trump Junk

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel and Wes 

China Sin-drone

Until Donald Trump no other presidential candidate or former “head” of state has ever hawked made-in-China, dime store quality, over priced rubbish.  For starters, we’ve got the Trumpy Bear, the MAGA hat, a Chia pet, and My Pillow. On this next one my dog would lift his leg: the ugliest gold high top never surrender sneakers ever created. I’m surprised there is no fake vomit or whoopee cushions in this collection of no-class trash. For those who missed it on The View, Rita Moreno made us all smile when she described a Trump sandwich, seen on a menu at a New York City deli: two slices of white bread (presumably all crust and likely stale), full of baloney, with a very small pickle; darn, it ruins gherkins for me. In case, Trump needs some ideas for a new grift product; I’ve come up with at least 36 ideas for Trump merchandise (with a smidge of input from the spouse…)

36 Ideas For Trump Merchandise

  1. A Trump mug shot, with double bonus autographed photos of Kid Rock and Roseanne Barr.
  2. MAGA hair tonic – turns hair neon orange while destroying any remaining brain cells Trumpsters might have.
  3. Putin’s Puppet – Trump on a string.
  4. Melania Botox in a box – you too can look like a washed up plastic Hustler centerfold.
  5. Melania Barbie – NOPE. NO WAY, NO HOW. (after all, Mattel has excellent taste – they brought us the Barbie movie-and decades of fantastic characters (toys).
  6. Grumpy Trumpy doll – voodoo perhaps…
  7. The Donald Disinfectant spray for when you grab ’em by the p—-.
  8. Big Mac erasers – I was just wondering if we could erase his face?
  9. American History for Dummies book.
  10. Trump motion lotion – just ewwwwww…
  11. Box set of The Apprentice on VHS.
  12. Trump toupee – it speaks for itself, complimentary mango orange tan cream included.
  13. Robe and slippers from Trump Hotel – likely made by child labor…per Melania’s instructions.
  14. Trump face dart board – now this I would buy; bullseye!
  15. “Steal the Election Game” – because it never happened in real life.
  16. Recording of “Fail to the Chief” – this should include a bonus track of the late Helen Reddy’s “Ain’t no Way to Treat a Lady” and “I am Woman” (hear me roar…)
  17. Revolutionary War-era airport parking permit.
  18. Trump kitty litter – because he is full of it.
  19. Trump Bobble-head toilet bowl brush – enough said…
  20. Trump toilet paper – maybe not, don’t want it touching my rear end.
  21. Trump deodorant – because he stinks.
  22. Poster of all American Presidents photos with a question mark in 45’s slot.
  23. Trump Troll doll.
  24. Trumpy election flask – because you have to be drunk to vote for him.
  25. Trump orange suit – for that matchy, matchy look…I understand there are matching sandals.
  26. Trump-monopoly – go straight to jail, do not pass go.
  27. Trump hemorrhoid cream – because, some have said, he is a significant pain in the rump.
  28. Humpty Trumpty puzzle – sat on a wall, had a great fall, and all the king’s men would not put him back together again (my spouse commented that this isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and he wouldn’t shell out for it).
  29. Interchangeable photo cube – choose the faith of the book he carries upside down, outside of a house of worship he never attends.
  30. Well, there is no way we can produce a Trump pet rock because his followers would throw them at the Capitol building.
  31. MAGA mixed nuts gift pack.
  32. An inflatable life-size Trumpy – pull his string and the government shuts down.
  33. This year instead of a Vote for Trump yard sign-go all in with his new twelve foot tall inflatable Trump balloon; great for your front yard.
  34. Trump’s Chumps T-shirt (my husband came up with this one).
  35. Melania ball and chain silver plated jewelry set.
  36. President Biden doll pushing a dumpster containing all this garbage…