Call Me Cate, An Adoptee Moves On 

Call Me Cate, An Adoptee Moves On

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

A New Beginning…

As I’ve passed another milestone birthday, my thoughts have wandered to my birth.  I was privately adopted as a newborn by an older couple that were never meant to be parents.  Through DNA testing and the state of Pennsylvania finally opening original birth certificate availability to adoptees a few years ago, I have been blessed with finding my biological family.  I now have multiple siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, and their families. My cousin Michelle has become one of my dearest friends; she has encouraged me to reach out to my new kin, and maintains our family tree with the accuracy of a brain surgeon – a truly amazing lady. There are so many branches, my one BFF joked my cuz is the “Director of Forestry”…

Oh Yeah, I Blend…

My adopted family was abusive and ashamed of my multi racial ethnicities.  I, on the other hand, am thrilled to be an Irish, Italian, Iberian, Iraqi Jewish Christian.  I was cheated out of growing up with sibling camaraderie and arguments, but I do have dear friends that have become my family.  My spouse and I are truly grateful.

Choose Carefully

When I was adopted, my birth name was completely changed.  This irks me; a name at birth should remain through a lifetime.  Hopefully parents will take this into account before choosing overly unusual names.  What we are called should be special, and should be treated with reverence.  When we brought home our most recent lovable Puggle, we kept her beautiful name Sasha.  In Hebrew it means defender of mankind.  I will admit we changed our new kitten’s name from Hazel to Prada – one of my two spiritual mothers was a Hazel, that name being exclusively hers. Besides our cat is a constant reminder for my husband to buy me a Prada purse.

Confirmation Validation

I got to choose my own confirmation name, since I was confirmed into the Catholic Church as an adult, along with my husband.  I chose Veronica, after the very courageous woman that wiped the sweat from the face of Jesus as he carried his cross for the sake of humanity.  She could have been stoned by the men in the crowd but her compassion was greater than her fear.

When It’s Time To Change…

As I approach another of my certain age birthdays, I have chosen to continue to live life with my own unique style, even more so than before.  One of my rebel ways involves my birth name, which was changed upon my adoption, much to my disappointment and chagrin.  My biological mother named me after her, a fact I find endearing and touching.  I love my birth name, Catherine Marie Rees – it has style.

Anna-Lease

Please don’t get me wrong, Anna is a very pretty name.  It has served me well but it is not the name I was given at birth.  I have friends named Anna and there are a lot of amazing women with the same moniker.  The current Olympic gold medalist in figure skating is an Anna; there is royalty named Anna.  Eleanor Roosevelt’s given name was actually Anna.  In Hebrew and Italian it means favor, beautiful, and grace.  It is derived from Hannah and Anastasia.

Han-Nah-Nah-Nah…Hey, Hey, Hey…

I actually used Hannah Sarah Khessel as my stage name when I reentered the pageant circuit as an adult.  I dropped it some years ago to use my married name.  It’s an amalgamation of two of my favorite Biblical names, my maiden, and married names.  The blessed Mother Virgin Mary’s own mother was an Anna.  Yes, it’s a lovely name but I was not born into it.  I was named for an impudent godmother and aunt after my adoption.

Lynne On Me

The new middle name given me was Lynne, named after Lynn, Massachusetts, the home of Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of the Christian Science movement.  I consider this alleged religion to not be based in Christianity and certainly not Scientific.  My adopted mother was obsessed with their teachings but dabbled in all sorts of religious and so called spiritual realms.  I often questioned why my middle name contained an E on the end, not the spelling of the city for which I was named, and was told it was bumptious by my adopted family.  This perhaps confirms why they were not suitable parents.

School Daze

The insistence that I be referred to as Anna Lynne, never just Anna as a small child, gave me much discord in school.  I will leave Anna Lynne to the stunning and talented Anna Lynne McCord and be Catherine Marie, to honor the unpretentious woman the Lord chose to give me life.  I have many wonderful Cathy’s in my life, as friends and colleagues, one in particular, a very close friend; I share the name with her mom, also.

Not At All Appealing

And Anna should never, ever, in any way be followed by banana, either.  I truly don’t know of anyone named Anna that finds this humourous, charming, or cute.  It is a source of bullying for children and as adults, it’s downright ridiculous. Does the kid in high school that accidentally passes gas because the cafeteria was serving mystery meat and bean burritos for lunch like the nickname Stinky?  I think not.  My middle name was never banana.

Fruitless Appeal?

A recent acquaintance would simply call me banana, just banana; we are no longer acquainted.  I remember attending an event one time where the woman at the registration table referred to me in the dreaded term of Anna Banana; I politely but firmly enlightened her that Anna’s don’t care for this terminology. Her response was, “Yeah, my daughter hates it too.”; I rest my case. Anna Banana Foofanna, is just wrong – don’t sing it.

A Fruit By Any Other Name Would Taste As Sweet

If I had grandchildren, Nana Anna, now that would be cute.  A banana is a fruit, not a name.  Now, I love me some organic bananas on my morning cereal and enjoy banana bread and pudding, but I have no desire whatsoever to be referred to in this manner.  A baked banana boat stuffed with marshmallows and chocolate chips is rather yummy, of course, and who doesn’t love a banana split or Bananas Foster, but it’s food, not someone’s name.  The Banana Splits were a beloved Saturday morning show of our youth, but never did I desire to be named after the program.

Cereally?

I love pierogis, spinach, crab cakes, lettuce, and chocolate mousse, also but don’t want to be named after them.  Bananas are delicious for breakfast (sorry Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond) with milk and raisin bran, but I don’t want to be named Kellogg’s, Special K, granola, or oatmeal either.  My hippy name will never be Muesli.  Anna Banana sounds like an ominous stripper’s name.  Immortal playwright William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet teaches us, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”.  But a banana is still a phallic fruit and calling someone Anna Banana actually stinks.

Fruit Basket

Please understand I think maybe Tangerine would be an interesting name.  I love the vintage teen book series with heroine nurse Cherry Adams but banana just does not have the same melodic ring to it.  Come on Anna’s of any age, stand firm with me here, no more Anna Banana.  Let’s start a Facebook support group, “Don’t call me Banana because my name is Anna”; sounds like a country Western song title, hmmm…  Additionally, over the years, my name has also been called Annie, making me want to break out in song with my rendition of “You Can’t Get a Man with a Gun”.

Catherine The Greats

There are very many “great” Catherine’s: Aragon, Alexandra, Hepburn, Cathy (Guisewite), the beautiful singer Katy Perry, the very intelligent Katy Porter, Katie Holmes, the amazing Catherine Cortez Masto, and the Duchess of York, of course – I am a huge Megan Markle fan but I certainly like Kate Middleton Windsor.  What woman of a certain age didn’t have a Chatty Cathy doll? It is my understanding that my biological mom rocked the title of “Katy-mom”.  So call me Cate – there are so many awesome Kate’s, too. Cate Blanchett, Kate Smith, Kate Hudson, Kate Winslet, Kate Bush…

Welcome Back…

I have made the decision and my husband supports it. On Cyber Monday, November 27th of this year, I went before a lovely, female-empowered judge to return legally to my birth name, hyphenated with my husband’s last name – I am keeping him. I know I am in for aggravation, changing not only my byline and explaining it to my readers, but dealing with government agencies, medical records, and my banks to get it all switched.  Thus far I have changed my library card. It might seem a bit incredulous to do at my certain age but I pray my best days are yet to come; I was assured by the court clerk that I was not the oldest to have changed my name.  Of course, many people will always think of me as Anna, and may never get used to calling me Cate.

Brandy Annaxander…

Perhaps this is a lesson to Trump-supporting NRA loving women with too much makeup and rhinestone MAGA hats; do you think self-actualized women named “Karen” like this? Many have referred to me as Anna, and for some reason my father-in-law, much to my annoyance, pronounces it as “Onna”.  A pretty name, yes, but not mine.  Mine was Anna, now again Cate, deal with it folks.  Have a nice banana brandy flambe in honor of my name change, pour me a brandy, and call me Ishmael – I mean Cate…