Category: Personalities

Call Me Cate, An Adoptee Moves On

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Call Me Cate, An Adoptee Moves On 

I was adopted. They changed my name and now I have changed it back to my birth name

Call Me Cate, An Adoptee Moves On

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

A New Beginning…

As I’ve passed another milestone birthday, my thoughts have wandered to my birth.  I was privately adopted as a newborn by an older couple that were never meant to be parents.  Through DNA testing and the state of Pennsylvania finally opening original birth certificate availability to adoptees a few years ago, I have been blessed with finding my biological family.  I now have multiple siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, and their families. My cousin Michelle has become one of my dearest friends; she has encouraged me to reach out to my new kin, and maintains our family tree with the accuracy of a brain surgeon – a truly amazing lady. There are so many branches, my one BFF joked my cuz is the “Director of Forestry”…

Oh Yeah, I Blend…

My adopted family was abusive and ashamed of my multi racial ethnicities.  I, on the other hand, am thrilled to be an Irish, Italian, Iberian, Iraqi Jewish Christian.  I was cheated out of growing up with sibling camaraderie and arguments, but I do have dear friends that have become my family.  My spouse and I are truly grateful.

Choose Carefully

When I was adopted, my birth name was completely changed.  This irks me; a name at birth should remain through a lifetime.  Hopefully parents will take this into account before choosing overly unusual names.  What we are called should be special, and should be treated with reverence.  When we brought home our most recent lovable Puggle, we kept her beautiful name Sasha.  In Hebrew it means defender of mankind.  I will admit we changed our new kitten’s name from Hazel to Prada – one of my two spiritual mothers was a Hazel, that name being exclusively hers. Besides our cat is a constant reminder for my husband to buy me a Prada purse.

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Festive Food For Thought

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Festive Food for Thought

Pumpkins spice and peppermint sticks every where you look.

Festive Food for Thought

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

Food for Thought

I hope everyone is having a joyous holiday season, shopping and preparing your favorite foods. Unlike many people, I enjoy grocery shopping; during a recent trip to the market I discovered some unusual edibles for the festive table. Imagine, if you can; unicorn pudding, Oreo and Warhead candy canes, sweet cinnamon Kit-Kats, white peppermint Twinkies, “Wintermint DingDongs” with ice blue filling, a reindeer-faced slice and bake cookie set complete with antlers and a red nose. There was a whole clearance aisle full of all things pumpkin spice, and a large selection of goods inspired by the movie “Frozen” – to this I say “Let It Go”…

Bake Someone Happy…

I admit it, I’m ready to bring back the Christmas’s of my childhood. Let ‘s bring back Christmas cookies made from scratch, and Jiffy Pop for our Christmas special viewing party snacks. We actually had to wait for our favorite programs like “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”, “Frosty the Snowman”, and “Rodgers and Hammerstein ‘s Cinderella”. These were actual classic TV shows, not a DVD in a player, or streaming any time I wanted to see it. These were a big deal. The networks advertised them for a month before the holiday. We’d invite friends over to watch these timeless holiday shows, because they were only shown once a year. I am a Hallmark movie kind of girl, but I miss the anticipation of those annual events.

Mmmmm, no…

We baked cupcakes, and set out a bowl of M & M ‘s – not jalapeno, thai coconut, coffee, hazelnut, caramel, crispy honeycomb, English toffee, chocolate marshmallow, white chocolate peppermint, white pumpkin pie, milk chocolate glow-in-the-dark, or even mint – we had plain and peanut, still my favorites. Hot chocolate was made with cow’s milk and the flavor was chocolate, with maybe a few marshmallows thrown in, and a dollop of Ready-Whip. There was no pumpkin spice, or peppermint anywhere is sight.

Snow Joke

We didn’t ask the musical question, “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” We just went out and built one, complete with carrot nose, lumps of coal for the eyes, and a tattered plaid scarf. Even the holiday commercials on television were festive; my favorite was always the Norelco shaver gliding over the white hills like a snowmobile, with the catch phrase, “even our name says Merry Christmas”.

“Pop”-ular Games

The toys under our trees both delighted and educated – I was the Julia Child of lightbulb cuisine; our “notebook/tablet” was an Etch-A-Sketch – stairways up, stairways down, and stacked boxes. We had Lite-Brites, Barrels of Monkeys, Spirographs, Bride Barbies, Tiddlywinks, and the game Trouble with the Pop-O-Matic – we thought that was cutting edge technology. Some of my favorites were Suzy Cute in her yellow plastic crib, Chatty Cathy, the Dawn doll’ s beauty pageant and beauty salon, Mrs. Beasley, and of course, I had a Swingy doll (mine was decked out in pink and orange) – (batteries not included).

Don’t Sweat(er) It…

Life was slower-paced, and we made our own fun and beautiful memories; we didn’t feature “ugly” Christmas sweaters, but wore green velvet dresses with red ribbons in our hair and shiny black Mary Janes on our feet. Christmas balls went on the tree, not on our apparel, and the coffee table candy dish was filled with ribbon hard candies. I wish you and all those you love a holiday season to remember; Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and may your New Year arrive in style…

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

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Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

While I love classy, my husband is attached to tacky.

 

Deck the Halls, Not the Husband

 

By Cate Rees-Hessel

 

New Family Traditions

I like classic, classy things; my husband, on the other hand adores the tacky. Currently, he  is in a decorating frenzy, and that scares me. As we prepare to celebrate, who can forget decorations? I sometimes wish my other half would. Don’t get me wrong, I love a tasteful wreath on the door and a holly berry candle on the mantle, and this year, thanks to my recent DNA test, we will be including a menorah along with the family creche, however, my other half is not quite a Clinton Kelly when it comes to holiday embellishment.

Another Holiday Move

I look up from a Hallmark Christmas movie, and to my horror I see my spouse, attired in a Chicago Cubs Santa hat and a flashing Christmas tree tie, hanging jingle bells on the bathroom doorknob. Apparently, there are no safe places from his holiday mania. I cautiously enter the powder room, which has been transformed into a winter wonderland, as in I wonder what the heck happened to my bathroom.

Hang Up the Mistletoe…

Gone are the lovely blue lace-edged fingertip towels and the matching ceramic soap pump. Replacing these tasteful items are Hallmark’s Jolly in the John – really? My husband loves this little guy as much as he loves his Mini – and joining good ol’ Jolly is his pet reindeer, another Hallmark creation, with a roll of toilet paper decorating one of his antlers. Rounding out the tacky trio is Mr. John’s “other half”, a plastic snowwoman soap pump.

And the Toilet Seat

A purple garland adorns the shower curtain rod, and the shell toilet seat is now covered with a giant Santa face, gloved hands covering his eyes (do you blame him?). My attractive celery green with chocolate brown polka-dots bathrobe has been replaced with a latch hook creation of eight tiny reindeer, a rather unfortunate garage sale find. I turn to flee this holiday horror to find my other half nailing mistletoe above the necessary room door.

Merry Migraine!

I resume watching the previously interrupted holiday-inspired film, I take a fortifying sip of my mocha latte as my husband makes his way to the kitchen with a devilish glint in his eye, our jingle bell collared puggle Sasha in tow. My better (?) half is carrying a pair of Rudolph pot holders and a Grinch tea towel. What desecration could he be up to? Visions of plastic glitter sugar plums strung on the stove dance in my head, threatening a migraine. Did I just see our cat Prada wearing kitty-sized elf ears? Over the years my husband has acquired a plethora of kitschy Christmas items, right down to, cover your eyes, glow in the dark snowman boxer shorts, which he actually wears to bed. Does murdering a spouse still rate a life sentence?

Jolly in the John

As I said, one of his favorite pieces of seasonal décor is Hallmark’s “Jolly in the John”; normally I’m a Hallmark kind of girl: love the movies, cards, and ornaments, but I have yet to make friends with good ol’ “Jolly”. A plastic snowman holding a plunger who sings the potty song “Who’s Gotta’ Go”, and informs bathroom visitors they “look a little flush”; in my opinion, he’s gotta’ go. My spouse proudly places him atop the toilet tank, accompanied by his “snowwife”, a plastic lotion dispenser in the shape of a snowwoman, and their beloved pet, another Hallmark creation, a reindeer adorned with a roll of toilet paper on one antler. This “charming” trio has replaced my tasteful glass vase, containing vintage gold and silver Christmas balls.

A Special (Dis)appearance

Ironically, strange things have befallen Jolly – he keeps coming up missing, and stranger still, it only occurs when my hubby isn’t home. I have no idea how Jolly ended up in the bushes-apparently he must have fallen out of the window. I didn’t realize our dog could throw up the sash; lucky for us, our neighbor found him and brought him to our door. My other half then found him in the trash can-I have no idea how he got there, either. He was lovingly washed down and put back and in his place of honor, behind the throne.

Pack It In

Most recently, Jolly turned up at the local thrift store, buried in a box of old clothes I had donated. Lucky for us, that same helpful neighbor volunteers at the resale shop. My husband happened to be in there seeking out more tacky, I mean whimsical, holiday decorations, so the snowman has returned home. I guess I just have to accept that good ol’ Jolly is my husband’s way of decorating. We have certainly decked the halls with a unique bevy of holiday décor, but always in the theme of “peace on earth and goodwill toward men”; yes, Virginia, I married a man with style…

 

Another, I Saw it on the Internet

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Another, I Saw it on the Internet

Image

I Saw it on the Internet

By D.S. Mitchell

 

Picture Perfect

A philosopher once said, ” A picture is worth a thousand words.” Well, the X prez is a liar, a thief, and a fraud; and here’s pictures to prove it. The man who tried to topple the U.S. government in 2020 is still at it. My question is why do so many MAGA followers believe anything this criminal narcissist says? I can almost understand why politicians like Cruz, Graham, and Hawley, who benefit both financially and politically, continue to cling to Trump’s coattails. What I don’t understand, however, is how so many common sense Americans have been hornswoggled  into believing this fat toad, with his elevator lifts, his mango makeup,  and his self-aggrandizing rhetoric, is working for them. Everything Trump stands for is in sharp contrast to what the average American needs; simple things like, work safety, clean water, safe food and drugs, ethical government, affordable health care, a strong social safety net, equal rights for all. So what is it? What is the hook that keeps the minions swimming with him?

Slurping Kool-Aid

“It’s a cult,”  the commentators are all saying. Whatever it is the folks, those of us who have not been slurping the Kool-Aid need to beat this authoritarian movement into submission. Despite the obvious inequities of the Electoral College process, partisan gerrymandering, and **third party candidates supported by right wing interests, the many can prevail in this battle, but it won’t be easy. I do not want to see young women forced to bear dead or unwanted babies, I do not want the U.S. military shooting U.S. citizens on U.S. streets, I do not want Christian leaders behaving like the ayatollah’s of Iran, I do not want Social Security or Medicare to end, and I most definitely do not want a phony TV huckster playing king at the head of the U.S. government.

Big Country

Talk to people; remind them of the real issues, not the political BS; such as: bodily autonomy, common sense gun control, ethics in government, the social safety net, religious freedom, LGBTQ+ rights, separation of church and state, national health care, housing the unhoused. I could go on. The list is long but we are a big country and our population has significant needs. Truthfully, in a country of 365,000,000 people and the world’s largest GDP the suggestion of “small government” is an outdated and ridiculous idea. When you hear that phrase think, “service for me and not for thee.” What really the Republicans are saying with the ridiculous notion of ‘small government,’ in this day and age, is we’ll pay for my needs and not yours. Everyone has a need, not just the few; and the federal government has a moral obligation to do the most, for the most. with our tax dollars, including collecting those tax dollars from the wealthy not just the poor.

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OPINION: Holy Moly, Trump’s Running

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OPINION:

Holy Moly, Rock ‘n Roll, Trump’s Running, Again 

Donald Trump draws big crowds as he chases a second term as president of the U.S.

OPINION:

Holy Moly, Rock n Roll, Trump’s Running, Again

By D. S. Mitchell

Autocrat and Criminal

Trump is an autocrat and a criminal. However, you’d never know it by the screaming, flag waving, MAGA crowd supporting Trump’s bid for a second term. The Democrats and anyone with a brain is pulling their hair out. How many felony indictments and presumed convictions will it take to convince the 28% of Americans who have been seduced by the “Orange Jesus” that he is a danger to our way of life, our freedoms, our constitutional protections.

Earth One Calling

I’ve been trying to imagine what event or series of events that it would take to shock Trump’s devoted followers back to Earth One. Communication to Earth Two seems to be cut off, temporarily. I couldn’t think of anything. If all the revelations, over the years, his grifting and conning, and his outright criminality, won’t shake their devotion my only conclusion is that some people are for whatever reason unreasonable.

Dining Table Disaster

But seriously, friend, just imagine two years after Trump is re-elected and the Orange One succumbs to a stroke or heart failure. Come on now, it could happen. The guy eats crap and takes a golf cart from the buffet table to his seat at the head of the table.  Just imagine, Donnie Jr. as first in line to the presidency. That proposition should scare the shit out of us all. But under a Trump presidency such a plan of succession could become a reality; that’s the way autocrats do things.

Let’s See the Blue

So, folks take your head out from under the bed covers and if you are not registered to vote, get registered. If there are no Democrats running for office in your district, throw your name in the fight. In half the districts in this country these MAGA folks have no opponents. Stop the freefall into totalitarianism. Stop Trump. Vote Biden-Harris. For the good of the country, vote blue.

 

Honoring Giving Tuesday

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50 Ways to Give on Giving Tuesday

Giving Tuesdays

Giving Tuesday

By Anna Hessel with Wes Hessel

 

It’s Giving Tuesday – time to donate funds to organizations that we support, but also find ways of giving of ourselves and our time. Here are some unique ideas for ways to give back to the community:

  1. Take a plate of food, cookies, or a card to an elderly or disabled neighbor
  2. Drop some magazines or books at a local hospital for their waiting areas
  3. Offer to babysit so someone can holiday shop or run errands
  4. Watch the person a caregiver takes care of so they can get out for errands or have a little me time
  5. Drop a few dollars or spare change in a red kettle
  6. Call a friend or relative just to say hello
  7. Rake someone’s leaves
  8. Mow someone’s lawn
  9. Shovel someone’s drive or walkway
  10. Make some calls for your favorite political candidate(s)
  11. Start a postcard campaign for your favorite political organization
  12. Begin a petition to right a wrong
  13. Run for a local political office
  14. Mail cards to our service men and women
  15. Volunteer at a local animal shelter or your library
  16. Don’t forget Toys for Tots with a new unwrapped toy – every child deserves a toy for Christmas or Hanukkah
  17. Offer a ride to a neighbor that does not have access to a car or can’t drive
  18. Decorate an outdoor tree for Christmas
  19. Add some sparkle to someone’s day with a small gift just because
  20. Organize a sled race or set up a hot chocolate stand for charity
  21. Run an errand for someone
  22. Pay it forward in the drive-through (or inside line)
  23. Pull a child in a sled or throw a ball for them to catch
  24. Build a snowman with someone
  25. Use your expertise, be it professional or hobby, to benefit someone: a free haircut, manicure, house cleaning, legal advice
  26. Pass out free hug coupons, cookies, or homemade fudge in your office or neighborhood
  27. Freecycle or Trash Nothing something
  28. Foster or adopt a rescue animal
  29. Play fetch with a neighbor’s dog or catch with a neighbor kid
  30. Set up a feral cat box on your porch with hay, fresh water, and a small bowl of food
  31. Make homemade cards or tree ornaments to pass out
  32. Take an angel off the giving tree and buy a gift to brighten someone’s holiday
  33. Give someone a smile – it’s always free, and it might just make their day
  34. Make a nice lunch or dinner to surprise somebody
  35. Donate to a good pantry or little library
  36. Make time for loved ones, like coffee or a spa day together
  37. Take time for yourself because you can’t help anyone if you aren’t well yourself
  38. Post something cute on social media to brighten someone’s day
  39. Order a meal delivery for a friend as a surprise (just make sure someone is there to accept the delivery)
  40. Tip generously
  41. Help a neighbor decorate for the holidays
  42. Offer to do someone’s shopping, laundry, house cleaning, or cooking
  43. Drop flowers off at a retirement community or hospital
  44. Donate pet food to an animal shelter – they can use older towels and blankets, too
  45. Send thank you notes to first responders or government employees
  46. Volunteer as a court advocate
  47. Share someone’s good work on social media
  48. Take a minute to talk to a business’ manger or owner to complement an employee
  49. Make time to really listen to someone who needs a shoulder to cry on
  50. Be sure to thank those selfless community volunteers whenever you can

 

Let’s Talk Turkey About Food Safety

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Let’s Talk Turkey About Food Safety

Turkey and all the fixings can be wonderful or a total disaster. Remember food safety to keep your holidays worry free.

Let’s Talk Turkey About Food Safety

 

By Anna Hessel

 

A Holiday for the Bird(s)

Hello, everyone; let’s talk turkey – it’s that time of year. Nothing says Thanksgiving like gastric disturbance, NOT; no one is thankful for food borne illness. Cuisine safety needs to be front and center on your holiday table. I received some sage advice (pun intended) from a smart and savvy chef to confirm some safe meal pointers just in “thyme” for turkey day.

Food for Thought

Food cannot be left out at room temperature for any longer than two hours – just like Cinderella at the ball, disaster awaits after the deadline you were warned about. It doesn’t matter if Uncle Fred wants to finish watching football, even if the Steelers or Bears are playing – the buffet can’t wait. Edibles must stay out of the danger zone – make sure the holding temperatures are above 140 degrees (the commercial criteria is above 180) for hot food, and below 40 for cold food. If you use Sternos or the like to keep dishes heated, they only last two hours – beyond that you need to use additional fresh canned heat or chafing fuel cans. Ice baths can be strengthened by sprinkling salt on the cubes. When you allow your protein to rest, this helps it to reabsorb juices with the temperature change coming out of the oven. But remember, the turkey resting does not need a long nap (it’s not grandpa), and you must deduct the ten to fifteen minutes from the two-hour time limit food can be left out.

Don’t Cross to the Dark Side

Never cross contaminate feast fare by putting cooked items on the same unwashed surfaces that have come in contact with raw items, be it cutting boards, dishes, or utensils. Rinsing does not cut it – wash thoroughly with dish soap and hot water; I use antibacterial dish soap. Stuffing is my favorite side dish, but we keep it on the side, not cooked in the bird. We stuff the cavity with fruit (lemons, oranges, etc.), which we throw away after cooking; a dinner guest commented that the citrus turkey we made was the best he ever had.

An Ill Wind Blows…

I had a doctor tell me some years ago that she thinks that that the holidays mean family and friends spreading colds, flu, and food poisoning – we can now add COVID to that list. Avoid sickness by frequently washing your hands, especially when cooking. Keep a good hand lotion on your kitchen counter if you’re concerned about dry skin from harsh cleansers. Remember, also, to be cautious of food allergies and sensitivities as you fix your meal. Trace amounts of an allergen can result in potentially deadly reactions to those that are anaphylactic. Please be conscious, as well, of the foods your fur-babies cannot safely consume – if you’re unsure, talk to your veterinarian.

Pumpkin, No Spice

Just like the film “Boss Baby” reminds us that “cookies are for closers”, may I point out that pumpkin spice is for pies and baked goods, not the annoying bevy of PS stuff like coffee, cereals, hair conditioner, pet food, floor wax, and the like, that we are subjected to from September to February each year. Then for months afterward the grocery store clearance aisles are swollen with pumpkin spice items. Time to stop the pumpkin spice takeover of the holiday season, that’s my opinion. Don’t allow your guests to sit for hours without a snack. Serve light appetizers and beverages before the big meal, but peanuts, pork rinds, and corn nuts are not hors d’oeuvres. Let’s spread God’s love, not germs, this holiday season; better to be safe than sorry.

Ask the Expert

 There is always something to be thankful for; we’re thankful for the Buttterball Turkey Talk Line (1-800-BUTTERBALL or text 844-877-3456) – they have certified food experts who can answer your food related questions. I’ve heard the professionals manning the Turkey Talk Line have had some unusual questions over the years – one person asked if they could use a chainsaw to carve the holiday bird; another inquired if they could cook the turkey in a hot tub. So my advice is to ask your questions before you’ve had a few cups of eggnog, spicy spiked cider, or the cooking sherry.

May your Thanksgiving/Friendsgiving be blessed with joy, loved ones, and, of course, style…

 

Editorial: Stomping My Feet

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Editorial:

Stomping My Feet and Screaming Profanities

 

This young lady is mad and is about to kick some ass

Editorial:

Stomping My Feet and Screaming Profanities

By D. S. Mitchell

 

What the Hell?

Fuckin’ Zeus. What the hell is going on in this country? From the minute I wake up in the morning I am besieged by anger and hate from every direction. It comes via my cell phone, Facebook and Tik-Tok, texts and emails, the cable TV pundits, from family, neighbors, and co-workers. It never stops. Truthfully, it has me all ginned up, like most of the country; consumed with  outrage at one group or another. All the vitriol has me in a hammer swinging mood.

Makes no Sense

The mindless call for civil war is however, unsettling. Anyone with a high school education understands that war, civil or otherwise, destroys economies and communities. All you have to do is look to Syria or that distant memory, Mogadishu. People die, all because the political forces in the country were so desperate for total power they chose to support one man rule, no matter how flawed the man.

Orange Blimp Landing

Last night, Monday, November 13th, or maybe it was the 12th, 2023; CNN was showing clips from the latest Trump rally with children (where the the f’ is child protective services?) holding up Trump 2024 signs while the bloated mob boss harangued for a couple hours. The rant was reminiscent of the 1930’s and Nazi Germany, using Hitler’s recycled slurs against Jews and Gypsies to modern day “undesirables”.  “Undesirables” in Trump’s mind is anyone, anywhere, at any time, who opposed him. Watch out Hillary Clinton and Bill Barr. Watch out Jeff Sessions and Mitch McConnell. Watch out Ruby Freeman.

Trump’s Promises Can’t Be Ignored

Trump’s promise to institutionalize judges and prosecutors, imprison migrants, execute generals, eliminate the civil service, and suspend the Constitution; should make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It does mine. Internment camps for undocumented aliens to start with, later whoever the orange demagogue points his finger at. That band of crack pots and corrupt grifters that filled the White House offices during Trump’s last administration will be gone, replaced by people whose only qualification for employment is that they say ‘yes’ to whatever DJT says, no matter how crazy or illegal.

Outrageous

Every ethical journalist in this country is calling out Trump for his outrageous conduct and disgusting recent rhetoric. Free speech be damned, this demented extremist is firing up his followers to violence. The mango menace is no longer just a bad joke, but rather a clear and present danger to the Republic. This man is an immediate threat to our already disabled democracy. Trump and Mitch McConnell packed the Supreme Court, creating a dangerous situation at the top of the Judicial Branch. With an autocrat at the top of the Executive Branch, Trump would have control of 2/3rds of the government. With the Insurrection Act to back his authority, Trump would assume control of the military. Coup complete.

What Say You?

Do you want control of your own body?

Do you want religious freedom?

Do you want the right to read anything you choose?

Do you want the right to marry who you love?

Do you support ease of voting?

Do you support reasonable gun laws?

If your answer was yes, to any of the above questions, please support Democrats up and down the ballot in 2024 and forward. Just because you’ve voted Republican since Nixon doesn’t mean you need to continue to support a political party that now supports, a national ban on abortion, a white Christian national government,  book banning, voter suppression, and an originalist interpretation of the 2nd amendment. Joe Biden is a transitional president; support him as the leads this country forward. Joe Biden’s view of the future is bright and dynamic. Donald Trump’s view of our future is dark and desperate. I choose bright, not dark. How about you?

30 More of the Worst Gifts Ever

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30 More of the Worst Gifts Ever

 

Think before you give. Check out what not to give.

30 More Worst Gifts Ever

Editor’s Note: A small screw up in editing led to Anna’s advice being divided into two separate posts. It looks like I should have combined this submission with the one from October 25th, 2023 and called it, “The 65 Lousiest Gifts Ever.”  Anyway, here we go…

By Anna Hessel and the Editor (con’t)

  1. Flushable wipes. (Editor: Sometimes after a hospital stay you leave with a lot of useful items; spare urinals, chucks, gauze, waterless shampoo caps, and flushable wipes. Things that you would rather give away than never use. However, I suggest gifting them to your local animal shelter rather than your Aunt Tilly.)
  2. A 64-ounce bottle of extra strength mouthwash. (Editor: I agree, even the giant size bottle is inappropriate).
  3. A jock strap. (especially bad for your great aunt or grandmother…) (Editor: But what about Grampa?)
  4. Any attire with shoulder pads. (Editor: Good advice, Anna. I didn’t like shoulder pads then, and I’m no fonder of them now).
  5. A homemade pet rock. (Editor: N-o-o-ow, wait a minute, Anna. I belong to my local ‘rock’ club. We paint pictures on rocks and then leave them at different spots around the community for people to find and enjoy. I wouldn’t call any of them pets, but awesome anyway).
  6. A Rubik’s Cube (Editor: I never could figure that gizmo out, so definitely agree, it’s a very bad gift).
  7. A disco ball key chain. (Editor: A bit bizarre, but last year a friend gifted me with a cardinal (the bird) key chain, there’s a button on the bird’s back; push it and the bird tweets. Not suggesting it as a better option, but apparently, key chains are making a comeback as gifts).
  8. A professional house cleaning. (Editor: Anna, I want to tell you, I like a clean house, especially if someone else is swinging the mop. This could be a much appreciated gift; for some of us anyway).
  9. A box of leakproof trash bags. (Editor: Totally disgusting, I don’t think trash bags, leakproof or not, are ever on anyone’s wish list).
  10. A mop and bucket, fresh from the home maintenance aisle at Walmart. (Editor: I agree with Anna on this one. Definitely, in very poor taste).
  11. Disposable razors. (Editor: Yuck).
  12. 101 ways to cook kale cookbook. (Editor: Dearest Anna, Kale offers an abundance of nutrients, including potassium, fiber, folate, and calcium. Kale can reduce the risk of heart disease by helping lower LDL cholesterol, or “bad cholesterol”. Not all gifts need to be warm and fuzzy some can be useful).
  13. Fun with artificial colors cookbook. (Editor: I have nothing to say.)
  14. Anything you created at your first pottery lesson. (Editor: Excellent advice, Anna).
  15. A ‘Bedazzler’ or anything you bedazzled yourself. (Editor: I didn’t think you could still buy such a thing, but I was wrong; available on Amazon. So, take Anna’s advice and keep your bedazzling to yourself).
  16. Anything polyester. (Editor: Polyester freed women from the slavery of the ironing board, but now 50 years later women have tossed out both the iron, the ironing board, and the polyester),
  17. Refrigerator magnets in the shape of vegetables or fruit.
  18. Any experimental art.
  19. Kitty litter (especially if the recipient does not have a cat). (Editor: Uhhh. I definitely support Anna on this one. Instead, take your unused kitty litter or animal food to your local animal shelter and gift it to them this holiday season. Please support your local no kill Animal Shelter).
  20. Expired food. (Editor: Not only offensive, but likely dangerous).
  21. Insect spray (Editor: FYI, former heavyweight champion, Mohammad Ali, was believed to have caused himself severe neurological damage by constantly spraying insect killer around himself).
  22. Bat or rat plush toy or pillow.
  23. Cellulite cream. (Editor: This could be touchy; I personally, wouldn’t risk giving cellulite cream to anyone, ever).

You’ve been waiting for it- here’s the top seven political gifts, NOT to give.

  1. The Donald inaugural commemorative whiskey flask.
  2. The complete ten season box set of “The Apprentice,” (Editor: I saw one episode of that show and that was all I could stand. They actually made 10 seasons of that crap? Amazing.)
  3. Pat Robertson bubble head. (Editor: I think Pat is best left forgotten).
  4. Ron DeSantis bubble head. (Editor: A blip, a blimp, a cowboy boot wearin’ Trump wannabe).
  5. Donald Trump bubble head (oh wait, aren’t they called bobble heads?)
  6. Smelling salts (unless of course one of these bubble heads are on the air…)
  7. A Halloween costume, especially if there is a Trump mask involved.

Please remember that one of the worst possible gifts is the Donald Trump gift set: the set consists of a Trump Chia head And a Trump bubble head, because two of his heads are never better than one.

Friends, Let’s fill our hearts with love and pray for peace in Palestine.