Writing Is My Heart

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Writing is My Heart

 

There are so many books being written I have had to get an assistant reader

Writing is My Heart

By D.S. Mitchell

I’ve been journaling and writing short stories since I figured out which end of the pencil held the lead. Most of my writing has been for my own mental health. In 2016 I started the Calamity News and Politics website. The website has given me a platform to talk about the things that are important to me, the news and the politics of the day. I have been able to write articles about issues that mean something to me and to the community.

I fully intend to continue the website. I’m just asking for a little patience as I finish up book three of my adult thriller series Chasing the Spider. The three books are Chasing the Spider, Stalking the Spider, and Embracing the Spider. If you are interested you can find book one on Amazon. The second book should be available next month.

Thanks again for being a Calamity fan, you are loved and appreciated.

Thanks again for your understanding and patience.

D.S. Mitchell

 

Snatching Santa

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SNATCHING SANTA

SNATCHING SANTA

The age old battle of good vs evil played out at Christmas 

By D. S. Mitchell

It was a small noise that woke Santa. Something out of place in the middle of the night. He lay in the dark, wondering if he’d imagined, or possibly dreamt the sound. Mary Claus slept by his side, her steady breathing the only sound in their darkened bedroom.

“There it was again,” he said under his breath.

This time it seemed to be at the back of the house. It was the sound of feet on gravel, a noise that wouldn’t be noticed during daylight hours, but seemed magnified by the darkness. It was close to 3:00 am. He worried that a sneak thief might be trying to break into his toy shop.

The suddenness of the event shocked him. The front and back door were simultaneously kicked in, and several men rushed through the battered doors into the house. The sound of polished boots on hardwood floors echoed down the halls. Mrs. Claus gasped as they both sat upright. Santa started to get out of bed, but the light came on before his foot hit the floor.

Two men armed with automatic weapons stood in the doorway, blocking any possible escape. The taller of the two men took in the room in a glance before lowering his eyes to the bed. He narrowed his eyes and pointed his weapon directly at Santa.

“What do you want?” Santa demanded.

“Shut up,” was his answer.

The weapon remained on its target and the tall man warmed the trigger with an agitated finger before saying, “Get dressed old man, you’re coming with us.”

Santa could see the shadows of several men moving about the house, the intruders opening closets, drawers, and doors. Mrs. Claus screamed. Santa hushed her with a hug and whispered reassurances.

“I said get your ass out of bed, Chubby.”

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OPINION: Republicans Fear Merrick Garland

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OPINION: Republicans Fear Garland

OPINION: Republicans Fear Garland

By Wes & Anna Hessel

 

Champion of Justice

U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland is again seeking to bring justice to our nation, this time  by facilitating the FBI search and seizure of alleged classified documents from Donald Trump’s Mar-A-Lago residence. Much to the chagrin of Republican party, the files were said to have been taken from the White House upon Trump’s departure.

Justice Delayed

Mr. Garland, a Chicago native and Harvard graduate, should be an associate justice of the Supreme Court, but the obstructionist right-wing GOP controlled Senate, lead by Mitch McConnell, in March 2016 refused to even take up the then Chief Judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit’s nomination by President Obama.  This maneuver continued on until the nomination expired in January 2017, leading to the Republicans seizing the spot vacated by the late Justice Scalia to be filled by their extremist nominee Neil Gorsuch.

Obstruction of Justice

The Republican Party have now made Attorney General Garland their newest Public Enemy Number One, demanding his immediate resignation.  The GOP insists that they will investigate Merrick should they regain their control of Congress.  We must strenuously prevent this miscarriage of justice from occurring.  Mr. Garland, with his consistent record of protecting our nation and democracy, in no way deserves this treatment.

Capitol Crimes

Donald Trump’s involvement in the January 6th insurrection is chilling, at best.  Barring the very justified actions of the Justice Department would serve to let Trump quite literally get away with murder.   “The Donald”’s blatant refusal to intervene in the invasion of the U.S. Capitol makes him culpable for the deaths of those who lost their lives as a result of this heinous violent attempt to stop the peaceful Constitutional transfer of power to the rightfully elected Joseph Biden.

Pursuit of Justice

Attorney General Garland’s heroic efforts include adroitly standing up to a slew of Republican attacks.  He has masterfully led the investigation of Mr. Trump’s lies and crimes, with a courageous pursuit of truth regarding this vile attack on our democracy.  Merrick is quoted as saying, “We intend to hold everyone, anyone, who was criminally responsible for the events surrounding January 6th…accountable.”  We must support our Attorney General Merrick Garland in the prosecution of “45”, so that Trump will be banned from ever holding or even running for public office again.

No Just Cause

“The Donald”’s and his allies’ attempts to overturn the 2020 election must not remain unpunished.  As Mr. Garland fearlessly pilots the Justice Department’s examination of Trump’s involvement in the riot, the Republican Party is making every effort to halt this investigation.  Marjorie Taylor Greene has gone so far as to file articles of impeachment against our Attorney General.

Buy The Lie

Mr. Garland has stated that he, “personally approved”, searching Trump’s home in Mar-A-Lago.  There were 147 GOP members who voted to try to overturn the legal election results of 2020, including Ms. Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, and Josh Hawley.  Apparently they buy into the lie that the election results were “stolen”, when in fact President Joe Biden had received the most certified votes of any presidential candidate in history.

Justice Served

And Merrick Garland has strongly demonstrated his lifelong quest for justice, beginning his illustrious career as a federal prosecutor in 1989.  His first prominent action was as one of the trio of the lead prosecution for the cocaine possession case of former Washington D.C. Mayor Marion Barry.  As Deputy Assistant Attorney General during President Clinton’s term, Mr. Garland oversaw the prosecution of such critical cases as the bombings in Atlanta during the Olympics and the “Unabomber” Ted Kaczynski.

Boots On The Ground

He began leading the prosecution of the horrific truck bomb attack on the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in person on-site, and was the federal government’s primary attorney during the preliminary hearings for the two main co-conspirators, Terry Nichols and Timothy McVeigh.  Deputy Assistant Attorney General Garland was then integral in the selection of the team for their trial, and even garnered accolades from then-Governor of Oklahoma, Frank Keating, a Republican.

“Well-Qualified” Jurist

In September of 1995, President Clinton nominated Merrick for the eleventh seat on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia.  Republicans in the Senate refused to bring his nomination to vote over an argument of whether that seat needed to be filled in the D.C. federal circuit, despite a highest possible “well-qualified” rating of Mr. Garland by the Standing Committee on the Federal Judiciary of the American Bar Association.

Try, Try Again…

When Clinton was reelected, he renewed Merrick’s nomination in January 1997.  On March 19th when it was put to a vote, Mr. Garland was confirmed with the significant margin of 76-23, even with continued Republican Senate control.  The GOP Senators primarily voted for confirmation, amongst them Jim Inhofe, Susan Collins, Orrin Hatch, and John McCain.  His opponents were all Republican, with the likes of Jeff Sessions, Chuck Grassley, and Mitch McConnell.  He was elevated to Chief Judge of the district in February of 2013.

Stand Up And Be Counted

It is imperative that Attorney General Merrick Garland receives the support of the American people in his relentless pursuit to bring Donald Trump to justice.  The Editorial Board of the New York Times has called on Mr. Garland to prosecute Trump if there is “sufficient evidence”.  That there is such evidence is obvious, so we need to stand with the Times board and our U.S. Attorney General in pursuing Trump for his crimes.

OPINION: What’s In A Name?

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OPINION: What’s In A Name?

OPINION: What’s In A Name

The Brett Favre legacy is not looking good, as he faces scrutiny over welfare fraud

By D. S. Mitchell

Say His Name

What do you think of when you hear the name Brett Favre?  Until a week ago, I never thought of Brett Favre one way or another. I’m more into basketball, myself. I knew he had played in the NFL for the Green Bay Packers, and I’d obviously seen pictures of the old dude, he was a football icon.

The Internet

From the internet I found the following statistics. In the 15 years spanning 1992-2007, Favre was synonymous with the Green Bay Packers and was their most legendary quarterback. During that time, he led the team to two Super Bowls and became the first and only NFL player to win three consecutive AP MVP awards.

  • 3× Associated Press MVP (1995, 1996, and 1997; the last shared with (Barry Sanders)
  • 11× Pro Bowl pick
  • 6× First- or Second-team All Pro choice
  • 1990’s NFL All Decade Team
  • NFL 100th Anniversary All-Time Team
  • Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame (2015)
  • Pro Football Hall of Fame (2016)

Lots of It

I then looked up his financials, on the internet of course. It is estimated from his player contract days with Green Bay alone, Favre earned more than 140 million dollars. This apparently, does not include money from other teams he played for, or endorsements and licensing fees. His net worth today is estimated to be well over 100 million dollars. So why does a guy with buckets of money need to steal from welfare recipients? The answer of course is that he did not ‘need to steal’ money from anybody. But, Mr. Favre with a 100 million dollars in the bank decided it would be okay to steal from starving kids in his home state of Mississippi.

Conclusion

Put away the Brett Favre jerseys and the Green Bay Packer pendants from his glory days and call out Brett Favre for what he is, a cheat, and a liar, and possibly a criminal. Brett Favre used his power and influence to redirect money from Mississippi welfare recipients to the construction of a new volley ball stadium, at his alma mater, Southern Mississippi. Just so you understand this, Brett Favre, millionaire football icon, decided it would be okay for a bunch of impoverished kids in Mississippi to miss a couple meals, so his daughter could play volleyball in a fancy new stadium.

**Mr. Favre states he repaid the 1.1 million he diverted from poor kids. But, he didn’t pay back interest. If the scam had not been uncovered, I’m sure Mr. Favre would have not repaid  a nickel. I think it is time that the U.S. government hold states accountable for delivering welfare money to those most in need, not rich football icons.

OPINION: Merrick Garland On A Mission

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OPINION: Merrick Garland On A Mission

OPINION: Merrick Garland On A Mission

By Dani Davis

High Profile Prosecutor

The 86th Attorney General of the United States is Merrick Brian Garland. Garland was born November 13, 1952, in Chicago, Illinois. He graduated from Harvard law and in 1989 began his illustrious career as a federal prosecutor. His first headline grabbing case was that of lead prosecutor in the cocaine possession case against former Washington D.C. Mayor, Marion Barry. Garland became Deputy Assistant AG during Bill Clinton’s tenure.  The two biggest trials of the decade, that of Ted Kaczynski, the “Unabomber,” and Eric Rudolph, the 1996 Olympic Games bomber, were led by Merrick Garland. In 1997, Bill Clinton nominated Garland to the D.C. Circuit. He served on that court from 1997-2020, the last seven years as chief judge.

Disgusting Mitch

In 2016, then president Obama nominated Merrick Garland to fill the associate justice seat on the Supreme Court vacated by the death of Antonin Scalia. The obstructionist right-wing GOP controlled Senate, led by Mitch McConnell, refused to even take up Merrick Garland’s nomination. Unheard of behavior. This obstructionist activity continued until Garland’s nomination expired in January 2017 when Obama left the WH. McConnell’s despicable conduct opened the door for Donald Trump to make an alarming three (Federalist Society) appointments to the Supreme Court in four years; the first, EPA hater, Neil Gorsuch, the second, beer boozing Brett Kavanaugh, and finally, the perpetually pregnant, Amy Cony Barrett.

The Ex Guy

It seems pretty clear ‘The Ex’ and his allies attempted to overturn the 2020 election. Sedition is very serious stuff and any hint of it must be investigated. If there has been criminal wrongdoing it must be punished. I can barely keep up with all the Trump plots. In Georgia, I guess Trump just wanted 11,780 more votes to corruptly appear. In Arizona it was about fake electors replacing the legitimate ones. On 1/6/21, afraid that the other plots might fail Trump dispatched armed rioters to the Capitol to terrorize elected officials; and prevent them from certifying Joe Biden’s 2020 election victory. These things didn’t just randomly happen, someone was pulling the strings, someone was paying expenses, it looks like at least one of those someone(s) was Donald John Trump.

January 6th

Putting everything else aside, Donald Trump’s actions on January 6th are easy to document and present in a pretty package for a jury. He and his minions called militias to D.C. with a promise of something ‘wild’ going to happen. Trump, Mo Brooks, Rudy, and others whipped up an armed and already agitated crowd and pointed them to the Capitol. While VP Pence and other elected officials were running for their lives,  Donald Trump was in the West Wing cheering on the rioters, calling them patriots.

Refusal To Act

For 187 minutes, Trump refused to call off the mob or reach out to law enforcement or military leaders to try to stop the violence. Without a doubt a dereliction of duty. Trump’s refusal to act in the face of an insurrectionist mob makes him culpable for those who were injured and those who lost their lives that horrible day. Using violence and intimidation Donald Trump attempted to stop the peaceful  transfer of power. That must be investigated and Merrick Garland has promised us that. Our AG was recently quoted  “We intend to hold everyone, anyone, who was criminally responsible for the events surrounding January 6th…accountable.”

White Hot

You would think with all this going on in Trump’s life he wouldn’t be setting any more fires, but you would be wrong. It turns out that for the last 18 months Donald Trump has been holding government documents, many marked top secret, in unsecure boxes at his beach club in Florida.  It’s been nearly three weeks since U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland approved the search and seizure of documents being held illegally by former president, Donald J. Trump, at Mar-a-Lago. While multiple stories were forthcoming from the ex-president, once the dust settled none of Trump’s bombast made any sense.

Off The Deep End

In full battle formation, the Republican Party now demands we defund the FBI, squash the IRS, impeach both AG Garland and President Biden. Kevin McCarthy is sending notice that when he takes over as Speaker of the House, he will start investigations into everyone in the Biden administration. In fact, Marjorie Taylor Greene has already gone so far as to file articles of impeachment against our Attorney General. Such waste of paper,  will go nowhere as long as Nancy Pelosi is Speaker of the House. This is a big reason to prevent the Republicans from winning the 2022 general election. At this point the American people need to take to the polls like never before. It will take a blue wave of extraordinary proportions to overcome historical trends, state directed gerrymandering, voter suppression, and unethical behavior by the MAGA extremists.

From The Sidelines

Lindsey Graham has been warning of riots in the streets if Trump is indicted under the Espionage Act for theft of government documents.  Graham has yet to make the same threats if the EX-Prez is indicted for wire fraud and other crimes related to ripping off his donors with his SAVE AMERICA PAC.  After paying for Trump’s legal fees to defend against multiple crimes the RNC has said they will not pay Trump’s legal fees for defending his theft of government documents. It seems that even the RNC has established limits when it comes to defending Trump’s corruption. According to multiple sources the RNC has had enough, and has told the former guy that he needs to pay his own legal bills when it comes to the investigation of stolen government records that Trump has had stored at his club in Florida since leaving office, eighteen months ago.

Paper Packin’ Librarians

I believe Merrick Garland will hold steady to his promise to make wrong doers accountable, no matter their station or, former title. Meanwhile the Republican Party has declared AG Garland, the FBI, the DOJ, the IRS, and of course the paper-packing librarians at the National Archives, to be their newest targets of hate. I accidentally landed on FoxNews the other night and listened to an earful of propaganda. Move over Dr. Fauci, you have competition for the Public Enemy Number One Spot.

Conclusion

I believe Mr. Garland will fearlessly pilot the Justice Department’s examination of Trump’s involvement into the 1/6 riot, his theft of government documents, his rip-off of his own donors with his SaveAmericaPac, and numerous other sketchy actions by the ex-president. I say, let the chips fall where they may, “No one is above the law.”

 

OPINION: My Fear for Ukraine

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My Fear for Ukraine

OPINION: My Fear for Ukraine

By David L. Shadrick

 

A Long Time

My fear for Ukraine is apathy. It’s been a long time since Putin decided to slam into Ukraine on 24 February 2022 . That’s 6 months! We’ve all watched this go on and cheered for the successes of the Ukrainian army. There is no doubt that they’ve had remarkable success. Blowing Russian tanks into little pieces, bombing oil facilities well behind enemy lines, and kicking the Russians off Snake Island over and over again. But let’s not forget that the Russians continue to grind forward destroying city after city and reducing them to piles of rubble.

Limitless Resources

Russia has the advantage of being able to continually replenish their supplies while Ukraine has to rely on the kindness of its’ neighbors to get the weapons it needs to fight off the Russian advances. What my fear for Ukraine is that we will forget this in another 6 months. As time rolls on in, and the war grumbles forward, without a clear victor, we can become bored with the struggle.

Story of the Moment

Just weeks ago Ukraine was the story of the moment and was in the headlines constantly. Now they’ve been relegated to page three of the news. I’m not saying that we should pound this war into everybody’s head over and over again. But we need to keep up the enthusiasm. We need the help with refugees, we need to keep supplying them with weapons, and maintaining their infrastructure despite the war. Don’t let my fear for Ukraine become a reality. Don’t be apathetic!

The Coming Plague

The Russian army waits. It waits for reinforcements. For more troops and for more equipment. Once the cities are destroyed the Russians will move in to rebuild and use this as a propaganda victory. They will brag about how they helped Ukrainian cities rebuild the buildings they had destroyed. The Free World needs to recognize that my fear for Ukraine could come true.

Conclusion

So in conclusion, I’m once again asking you not to make my fear for Ukraine come true. Please continue to talk about the conflict, send your money to the appropriate agencies, and keep up to date on war information. Just remember that keeping up means watching footage of exploding tanks, burning oil refineries, sinking warships, and downed aircraft. Mwahaha!

Grillin’ and Chillin’ Safely

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Grillin’ and Chillin’ Safely

Grilling is great summer fun, but here are a few tips to make your grilling safe

Grillin’ and Chillin’ Safely

Some practical tips for BBQ safety

By Anna Hessel

 

Wish There Was S’More

As we mourn the end of summer, I find myself once again fondly remembering summers gone by.  S’mores around the campfire were a summer staple – today, s’mores have lost some of their magic since  they are now on labels for beverages, Pop-Tarts, breakfast cereals, and even lip balm.  What’s next, s’mores casserole?  I actually own an indoor tabletop s’mores maker. Yes, they really have such things.  But, it isn’t quite the same thrill as finding that perfect dirt covered stick on the the ground and wiping it off on your pant leg and shoving a marshmallow on it.

Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

Summers at the lake included the perfect little store, complete with a cooler of Coca-Cola bottles, and its matching Coke bottle opener attached to the wall. Sweet nostalgia; before there were sweetened beverage taxes to think about, or plastic bag charges.  My Aunt Irene had a talent for popsicle-breaking – she would break a banana quiescently frozen confection perfectly down the center.  Also in those days Oreos were Oreo flavored; they didn’t taste like waffles with syrup, red velvet, pumpkin spice, or even birthday cake.  Our environment was not yet destroyed, so if there was such a thing as sunscreen, almost nobody used it. Instead – baby oil and iodine gave us golden tans. Of course, I’m not advocating this now. Current research indicates such behaviors may have caused cancer in many women of my generation; not to mention ex-ray treatments for teenage acne. Flip-flops were called thongs, not bikinis – swimsuit bottoms actually covered our bottoms.  There was no need for waterproof cell phone holders – because there were no cell phones. . .hours at the pool or lake with accompanying boombox, slid happily away.

Hot Time, Summer In The City

We got ready for summer movie dates at the drive-in by setting our hair with a goopy concoction called Dippity-Do and then wrapping sections of hair around empty frozen orange juice cans, or in some cases, beer cans. I hear  you can still get that product on Amazon. In those days, mousse was a chocolate dessert, not a hair product.  Pink flamingos, despite their color, were considered tacky, not haute decor.

Serving Dinner

An American flag, a potted geranium, and a welcome mat were all the outdoor decoration we needed, in those days.  The redwood picnic table held heaping platters of corn-on-the-cob and slices of watermelon.  Tomatoes came from my uncle’s garden, and were perfect on hamburgers, and toppers for cool salads.  Summers were simpler then; a time to relax and renew.  Well, I am going to be going in my usual direction and reach out to the local supermarket for a package of buns, and then I will be going in a different direction to my favorite nail salon for my mani-pedi, because when I reach out, I do it in style…

Chill And Grill

Summer, of course, also means, at least for my better half and his dad, that it’s time to fire up the grill.  My hubby is in his culinary element, the Bobby Flay of our patio.  Decked out in a chef’s hat (received from a Pillsbury promotion), and his “Kiss the Cook” apron (a birthday gift from yours truly), my spouse is ready to smoke up the neighborhood.

Order Up!

No gas grills for my guy; nothing says summer like the taste of lighter fluid on a chicken thigh.  I watch the action from my favorite Adirondack chair, an iced mocha latte at hand, as I bear witness to a wide variety of foods disappearing under the hood of his shiny blue Weber kettle grill.  Tuna steaks, salmon burgers, hotdogs, skewers of various vegetables, watermelon, peaches, and even a foil wrapped banana stuffed with chocolate and butterscotch chips; we can’t eat a summer meal that does not bear grill marks.  Carrying my favorite Pioneer Women platter aloft, tongs strapped to his belt and man’s best friend at his heels, just in case something were to fall off that tray, my loveable grill master cooks with style…

Grill Without Fail

And while you’re all grilling with style, make sure you are cooking safely.  Whether you choose charcoal or gas, these tips assembled by my husband, Wes Hessel, can make you the grill master of safety when you cook outdoors this season:

  1. Start safe by selecting your meats or seafood just before checking out at the store, putting them in a separate section of the cart, and have them bagged individually in plastic to avoid cross-contamination.
  2. Keep your items to cook in the refrigerator until right before you put them on the grill, or if you are grilling away from home, use a well-insulated cooler and ice or cold packs to keep the food temperature below 40 degrees.
  3. Wash your hands before and after working with raw meat or seafood or if soap and water are not available, use a hand sanitizer of at least 70% alcohol. Use separate cutting surfaces for raw meat or seafood, dispose of any leftover marinade or sauce which was in contact with raw meat or seafood, and use a fresh, clean plate for prepared foods.
  4. Use a meat thermometer to make sure items you are cooking reach safe temperatures, per the CDC:
  • 145°F – whole cuts of beef, pork, lamb, and veal (standing time of 3 minutes at this temperature)
  • 145°F – fish
  • 160°F – hamburgers and other ground beef
  • 165°F – all poultry and pre-cooked meats, like hot dogs
  • After grilling, keep the food at 140°F or warmer until it’s served
  1. Keep your grill surface, drip trays, and the like clean to avoid grease fires
  2. Be careful not to put too much food on the grill at one time.
  3. Avoid direct contact of the flame to the food – there is strong evidence that flames touching food can create carcinogens. Indirect cooking methods are a smart way to avoid this risk.
  4. If your grill is gas, regularly check for leaks with a light soap and water solution, and certainly never turn gas on with the lid closed. If a flame goes out, turn off all the gas and wait five minutes with the lid open before relighting.  If you smell gas while grilling, immediately get away from the grill and keep everyone else away, then call your fire department.
  5. If your grill is charcoal, regularly empty the ash pan/receptacle.
  6. If you are using a “starter fluid” such as lighter fluid, always place it on the coals before they are lit. NEVER put starter fluids or any other flammable on a burning fire.  Better yet, use an electric fire starter or charcoal chimney to get your grill going.
  7. Charcoal and propane are for outdoor use only.
  8. Your grill should never be closer than 10 feet to your home or garage; for those of you living in multi-family dwellings, keep the grill well away from any entrances or fire exits.
  9. Avoid placing the grill under building overhangs made of wood-based materials or overhanging branches, nor near deck railings.
  10. Décor is pretty but must be kept away from the grill.
  11. A fire extinguisher should be kept close, and be sure you are familiar with its proper use. If you are not comfortable using one, if a fire occurs, immediately call 911.  A spray bottle of clean water for minor “flare ups” will not cause harm to the food on the grill.
  12. Never leave your grill unattended, even for a minute, especially if there are children or pets around, and do not let them get closer than three feet to the grill. When you are finished grilling, turn off the gas (if applicable), close the lids, and any vents to completely extinguish the fire.  Always make sure the grill is completely cold before properly disposing of used coals and ashes.

These guidelines will keep the rest of your grilling season safe and enjoyable.  I wish you all a safe remainder of summer, full of sunny days and style.

59 Things to Smile About

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59 Things to Smile About

Let's talk about smiles today

59 Things to Smile About

 

By D. S. Mitchell

 

1.) The roll of thunder and the flash of lightening

2.) The sound of crows calling
3.) Grandma’s 1940 aluminum cake carrier
4.) Having a flower budget
5.) Toddlers in sandboxes
6.) Homemade tamales
7.) Fresh baked apple pie
8.) Big Sur
9.) Fire trucks all red and shiny
10.) Liquor in crystal decanters

11.) Walking the dunes
12.) Tillamook cheddar cheese
13.) Sails in the wind
14.) Still saving my change in a piggy bank
15.) Making church steeples with my hands
16.) Finding a parking space at the front door
17.) Making Cannabis truffles
18.) Eating Cannabis truffles
19.) A ‘she-shed’ for the garden
20.) Waltzing in the Pittock Mansion ballroom
21.) Scrabble on a rainy Sunday

22.) My Alma Mater, Portland State University, Portland, Oregon
23.) Daddy’s cherished gray ‘Bogie’ Fedora
24.) Snowmobile races
25.) 501’s and a leather jacket
26.) The art section at Goodwill
27.) Lake life
28.) Ping Pong basement championships

29.) Making floral bouquets from flowers collected from the yard
30.) High school football games
31.) White cotton shorts
32.) Being nice when someone calls you vulgar names on Twitter
33.) Astoria Sunday Market, on a sunny day
34.) A drive up mailbox
35.) A dog

36.) A cat
37.) Fresh baked bread
38.) First day of school
39.) Last day of school
40.) Wainscotting
41.) Cheese fondue with little bread squares
42.) Having read every book on the shelf
43.) Shiny oak floors
44.) First ski week-end
45.) A Blue Heron in the marsh

46.) Walking hand in hand with a child
47.) Wrapped peppermints in a glass dish
48.) Making pictures out of clouds
49.) Old photo albums
50.) Peanuts and popcorn at the ball game
51.) Oversize reckless, passionate modern art pieces
52.) Never feeling older than 17
53.) Powell’s Books, Pearl District, Portland, Oregon
54.) Spring wildflowers

55.) White curtains, blowing gently on a summer breeze

56.) Looking at childhood pictures in an old photo album

57.) Catching crawdads with my grandson

58.) Lunch with the girls

59.) Snuggling and cuddling with someone special

I hope some of my reasons to smile, made you smile. Tomorrow, Calamity News and Politics will be back covering the Washington, D.C. hotplate, and I doubt  there will be many reasons to smile in that environment.

 

 

Summer Sun and Fun

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Summer Sun and FunPink Flamingo Get a Lot of Attention

Summer Sun and Fun

By Anna Hessel

 

It’s Not Over ‘Til It’s Over

As summer comes to its close, here are some fun reflections and sage advice on how to enjoy the remainder of the season…

Everybody In The Pool…

The opening of our local water parks and pools proved to be much fun; I can’t help but notice the difference between how men and women prepare for a day at the pool.  Since a week in Tahiti to get in the right mind set is a bit unrealistic, women begin with a mani-pedi, bikini wax at the European Wax Center, and a stop for beachy waves at their salon of choice.

Shop ‘Til You Drop

Of course, a trip to the favorite shopping center is in order (including the requisite stop at Starbuck’s for a mocha latte) to choose several new swimsuits, swim skirts, swim coverups, sundresses, two pair of designer sunglasses, toe rings, ankle bracelets, sandals, flip-flops, an attractive beach tote with a pretty scarf tied to the handle to carry it all in (mine is pink), a sun umbrella (mine is pink), beach towels from Big Lots (mine are pink), and a straw sun hat from the local millinery boutique.

Just A Few Sundries

Next comes the cosmetics: sunscreen in various levels of SPF, clarifying shampoo,  dry shampoo, volumizing conditioner, hair mousse, papaya body wash, hyacinth body scrub, coconut almond moisture bath bar, cucumber melon moisturizing spray, Tiki Beach body spray from Bath & Body Works, deodorant/antiperspirant, pre-tan accelerator, after-sun lotion, spray-on lotion, cocoa butter hand cream, pina colada flavored tinted lip balm with SPF, waterproof mascara, waterproof blush, bronzer, BB cream with SPF, lavender mint moisturizer, Avon Skin So Soft, makeup remover, grapefruit toner, day cream, eye cream from Rodan + Fields, mandarin orange body butter, peach foot cream, body firming lotion, talc-free powder, mint mouthwash, travel size toothbrush and whitening toothpaste, waterproof brow gel, Clinique Chubby Stick in Cherry, Band-Aids (mine are Hello Kitty – they were out of pink) , antibacterial wipes, hand sanitizer, brush, comb, curling iron, flat iron, hot rollers, blow dryer (mine is Hello Kitty and pink), water bottle (mine is pink), waterproof smartphone cover (mine is pink), headphones (mine are pink), fresh unmentionables (may I mention, mine are pink), wash cloth, fingertip towel (mine is guess what color? Pink!), loofa, and shower pouf (mine is pink).

Read On…

Add in some quality reading material, including the Good Book, the latest issue of Elle, Glamour, Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, a Harlequin “Love Inspired” romance, a Legally Blonde novel, and of course, something by Debbie Macomber.  Now if you are a mom, taking your children to the pool, the above list will most likely triple in size, adding healthy and fun snacks (just don’t eat them on the pool deck), a bevy of swim toys, water wings, and lots of Little Swimmers Diapers for the littlest ones.

All That Truck

As my husband was getting out the hand truck to take my teensie beach tote to the car, all the while muttering something about hernias and the kitchen sink missing, I snuck a peak at his beach bag: last year’s swim trunks in a plastic grocery sack from Walmart; you gotta’ love a man with style…

Waxing Eloquent

Of course, one of my favorite parts of summer is a trip to the full-fledged water park; this means a major hair removal spree – winter allows us to only shave to the knee.  I tried on my new swimsuit and looked like an orangutan wearing tube socks.  I better add a Brazilian wax to my pedicure on the beauty prep list.  I often wonder, why this waxing is not referred to as Australian or the Cuban wax?  Let’s just refer to it as a bikini wax, shall we?

Packing Light

As I am packing my new tote bag for the park (mine is pink with matching princess beach towel), I notice my husband is packing his plastic grocery bag.  In goes an old Spiderman beach towel, his brand-new swim trunks (his are light blue with orange pineapples emblazoned on them), a faded purple T-shirt, and green flip-flops for his feet.  He adds a Cubs hat in their trademark dark blue to this cheeky ensemble.

I Don’t Know Him

Upon arrival at the water park, I pretend I don’t know my spouse of 31 years.  I receive a sympathetic glance from a well-coordinated woman whose husband is attired in a red, orange, and yellow Hawaiian shirt from three decades past, faded green trunks, and argyle socks with sandals.  He proudly pulls a T-shirt announcing “My kid went to Florida and all I got was this lousy shirt” from his paper grocery sack.  I smile and give a knowing nod to his attractive wife, taking comfort in the knowledge that my man has style…

Fly In The Flamingos

Of course, COVID had caused havoc with summer pool season 2020-2021 to be non-existent, so I was extremely grateful when swimming establishments re-opened last year. I am fully vaccinated and boosted and I am always more than ready for some fun in the sun.  Last season, however, patrons had to provide their own chairs; this fact sent me on a search for two matching loungers, a task that proved more difficult than I imagined.  I finally found a duo at a mass retailer, but the individual chairs were at separate locations.  To my chagrin, the set’s motif featured pink flamingos.  My favorite color, yes, but the graphics of the cartoonish form of the tall birds, not so much.  Back in the day, plastic flamingos were not considered the most elegant of décor, but now, there is a sea of them wherever I look.  They are all the rage – they have become the pumpkin spice of summer.

Don’t Be An Angry Bird

Don’t get me wrong, actual live flamingos are very cool birds.  But too much of a good thing is, well, too much.  I have seen flamingo everything: beach totes, towels, swimwear, sunglasses, pool floats, drinkware, dinnerware, neon-lit sculptures, solar yard lights, mailbox covers, flags, shower curtains complete with matching beak rings, earrings, robes, PJ’s, slippers, bedding, mani-pedi nail designs, and even out-of-season Christmas tree ornaments, just to name a few.  A wooden sign reminds me to be a flamingo standing tall, finding balance, getting your feet wet, to keep on digging until you find what you’re looking for, to remain flexible, support your flock, and of course, always be “fla-mazing”.  Now I will admit I have a tin plaque on my rear patio that announces one must, “Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons”.  But to be quite honest, the entire flamingo craze escapes me.

Mine Is Pink, His, Well…

Since my lounge chair coordinates with my solid pink beach bag, towel, and flip-flops, I have somehow convinced myself that this sun chair purchase is whimsical.   My other half, although disappointed that he did not receive a navy and white striped beach lounger for his birthday, secure in his masculinity, he is making do with pink flamingos.  A glance in his direction shows he is extracting his old faded red and blue Spiderman beach towel from his plastic grocery bag, to spread across his pink flamingo chair, making us even more of a spectacle at the water park. As I lower my ample derriere to lounge upon the faces of 100 unsuspecting fake flamingos, I can’t help but wonder what in tarnation has happened to style…

The Dog Days of Summer

It’s hard to believe summer will soon be coming to an end – August, for me, means a wedding anniversary trip to yet another water park, one of the advantages of being married in the “dog days” of August.  This got me to thinking why we refer to the summer heat as “dog days”.  Our cats actually agree with our dog that they don’t like the heat, either.  I decided to do some research – in other words, I Googled it – to find that the phrase has nothing to do with doggies languidly sleeping in the shade.

Barking Up The Wrong Tree?

In reality, dogs are not involved at all per se – the origins of the phrase take us all the way back to ancient times in Rome and Greece; the star Sirius, a part of the constellation Canis Major, is called the “dog star”, and is the brightest shining in the waning summer sky.  It was considered the greater dog, which moved in the direction of the sun.  The star group normally can only be seen during the winter, but the Romans and Greeks were aware that the constellation, and the dog star itself, traveled towards the sun during the late summer, therefore called this time period the “dog days”.

The Phrase That Pains

This explanation led me to ponder about some other often-used phrases, which I must admit I find annoying.  The one which bothers me the most is the overused term “reach out” – in my opinion, reaching out is something one would do to aid their fellow man such as baking a cake for a sick neighbor or helping someone to change a tire.  Reaching out, to me, really has nothing to do with a call to the cable company, the bank, or my insurance agent.  Another rather silly nouveau cliché is the profound “it is what it is”; well, duh, it isn’t what it isn’t…  That made no sense, even to a blonde – please feel free to email your explanation.  I also find the phrase “we are moving in a different direction” particularly appalling, especially when used to terminate a long-term and loyal employee.  Back in the day we simply said, “you’re fired!”, because “it is what is”, and this reference has nothing to do with the dreaded Donald.

Until it Ends

Soon my fevered brain will be challenged  by the ridiculousness of pumpkin spice lattes, Santa decorated boxer shorts, and PJ’s emblazoned with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but until I fold up my pink beach towel and slide it into my little pink tote for the last day at the waterpark, let’s have some fun.